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  • The Art of Creation and Manifesting

    The Art of Creation and Manifesting

    ↓ COMPANION ARTICLE ~ Concrete steps and examples to help you get what you want.

    It’s that time of the year when we celebrate the return of new life, which means it’s time for planting seeds, both literal and figurative. So the question is…

    What are you going to plant to enhance your life this season?

    I know, you’ve heard this question a thousand times before and perhaps even tried programs to help you nail this manifesting ‘thang‘, but bear with me. We have to start somewhere, and this is as good a place as any.

    So seriously, if there was something you wanted to change in your life, what would it be?

    Perhaps you are thinking, “I would retire and be done with work,” or “I would get help to clean my house and help with my children.” Or maybe you would want to own a big company that is wildly successful!

    While all of these are wonderful ideas, they all require planning, action and perhaps even providence to unfold. And yet, they are all external things.

    That’s not bad. And I’m not saying that any of these situations couldn’t or won’t happen. They very well might! But the older and more experienced I get, the more I realize that it’s not usually the “thing” or situation that I am desiring, but rather the *feeling* or state of being that thing symbolizes. 

    For example, wanting a nanny might translate to wanting an opportunity to rest or play tennis or work. A big wildly successful business might point to a desire for prestige, respect or validation.

    It’s very important to explore these questions thoroughly when beginning a manifesting process, and clarify the difference so that you can make decisions in alignment with your true desires. Are you truly wanting some thing or situation? Or is there something deeper?

    When you can identify your true heart’s desires — not just the outward symbol of those desires — then you have a solid foothold to start creating what you want here and now. And it will only grow from there! You will be able to manifest what you truly desire more quickly and easily. You will be able to recognize and celebrate many small wins on the way to your larger goals, and you will be able to *feel the success* of your efforts, not just reach arbitrary goals that still leave you empty and yearning inside.

    So, what is it that you truly desire?

    Feel your way to the answer. 

    The more I follow a path of feeling as my guide, the more my life continues to unfold in ways that make me happy, content, comfortable and empowered. I try new things and find new confidence in old things. New doors open that previously were shut. That’s a pretty wonderful way of living!

    So sticking with the “feeling” rule…

    Can you identify the feeling that you are wanting to create in your life?

    Is it comfy cozy or adventurous? Dramatic or mundane (a.k.a. simple and peaceful)? 

    If you’re not sure, go back to the initial questions of “What would your ideal life look like?” or “If you could change anything in your life, what would it be?”

    What was your answer? A long vacation? A new car? Something else?

    Now look at that situation or thing that you think you want, and ask yourself, “What about this is appealing or enticing to me?”

    If you had that vacation or that car, what would it do for you? In other words, what is the opportunity or the benefit that you will receive by having whatever it is you think you want?

    Make sure that you are not misinterpreting your desires.

    In hypnosis, one of the first things you learn is that people usually don’t tell you what they really want because they don’t know. Rather, they tell you the thing they think they want because, somewhere underneath, their subconscious has linked that thing or scenario to a secondary gain.

    For example, a client comes in and says they want to be able to run a marathon, but they don’t even like exercising. Why do they really want to run a marathon? Clearly, it’s not because of a love of competitive sports or running or exercising, or they would already be doing it in some shape or form, no matter how small. So running a marathon is not going to be a good goal for this person.

    Instead, as a facilitator, if I ask enough questions, I may eventually find out that they just want to be liked by a special someone who admires runners. Surprise!

    Obviously, this is not a good reason to try to become a marathon runner. And, by the way, if I did try to help them nurture that outward goal–even with a subconscious tool like hypnosis, it would most likely fail. Why? Because running is clearly not a love or a priority for them. Who knows? That level of exercise might actually be in conflict with their core values.

    This is why this step is so important, and in my opinion, the hardest step in the manifesting process. You must be meticulous in exploring your desires and the underlying beliefs and values that prompt those outward desires. If you want to succeed in reaching your goal, you must identify your true desire that lines up with your essence and who you really are.

    You can’t attempt to undermine your core values and expect a big manifesting win.

    That is the quickest recipe in the book for self-sabotage!

    But you can identify your true desires, which will be in alignment with your values and highest intentions for yourself, so that you can create better goals and plans for manifesting those desires into your life. And it will work, because they won’t be in conflict with your internal priorities.

    That’s why clarifying these points, and the feeling you want to experience, is key to creating a life you really love.

    Pursuing each new whim as it comes along takes just as much energy and effort as fulfilling your true underlying desires.  The difference is that pursing superficial quests will lead you down a rabbit hole as you try to fill a need that you perhaps don’t fully understand. It will never end. While pursuing a “feeling” that matches your core values will create something strong and stable that lasts longer than the moment and can be built on in the future as well.

    So, when deciding what it is you want to create, take some time and really explore your motives and hidden needs. Don’t just jump at the first idea that comes into your head.

    There is no benefit in pursuing each new idea that pops into your head without truly being clear on what you hope to achieve or *feel* as a result of your success.

    Why would you want to spend your energy and time manifesting something, only to realize once you have it, that your accomplishment didn’t fill the hole you thought it would — whatever that hole is for you.

    Of course, you can pursue whatever you want whenever you want, on a whim or otherwise. It’s up to you! Do what works best to make you happy. Perhaps you love the chase! If so, then chase away! But if you want off the roller-coaster, spend some time exploring your inner landscape and what you truly desire before planting your seeds of intention.

    Tip: Still unsure? A good intention might be, “I want to know what it is that I truly desire.” 😉

    Once you know what you truly desire, it’s time to plant that intention in the world.

    To get started, you must create a sustainable environment to plant in.

    In my garden, this would mean choosing a location with ample sun, good drainage to avoid root-rot and disease, and proper amendments to the soil. Then, once planted, I will also need to consistently tend my garden, make sure it gets ample water and keep it weeded so nothing is sucking up valuable resources that my plants need.

    Without these steps, my garden will most likely fail. But if I plan wisely and take care throughout the growing season, I can expect an abundant harvest or a beautiful bloom.

    Your life is no different!

    You must prepare your time, your environment, and your responsibilities to create conditions that will allow your heart’s desires to take root and grow.

    Like anything in life, creating something new, or manifesting something into your life, is typically not a free ride. It takes work and commitment.

    In my experience, this often involves sacrifice of some kind.

    If you are saving for a large purchase, you might need to eat out less or shop less. If you want to create some “me time”, you might need to say no to some projects that overextend you, no matter how much you want to help out. If you want more peace in your life, you may have to stop spending time with that friend who brings nothing but drama every time you see them.

    Whatever you are trying to create, there is almost always a trade off that will need to take place in order for you to receive it.

    Otherwise, you would already have it!

    For me, I wanted to move out of the busy suburbs with the traffic and the noise, and into a place where I could grow a garden and have some peace. This meant a drastic change of lifestyle. I was going to be farther from the convenience of shopping and groceries. It would not be as easy for my friends to visit or me to visit them.  And I was going to have to drive farther to everything I liked to do. Plus, I was going to be farther away from my son — not much, but enough that I wouldn’t see him as often. These were all sacrifices that I had to be willing to make, but the payoff was enough to make it worthwhile.

    We wanted a more peaceful life with less traffic and pollution, and more nature and green space, so we prepared mentally and fiscally for this reality and welcomed the lifestyle changes necessary to create it.

    Then we started building our new life into our current living situation wherever possible.

    When manifesting something big in your life, start living your dream in small ways as soon as possible.

    This helps to grow the energy of your creation and also keeps you engaged in the transition by providing small wins that you can see and feel along the way, letting you know that you are moving in the right direction.

    In our case, we got into the energy of our new home by sitting down and making a list of location and house characteristics that were important to us. We then stayed in that energy by saving photos of things we liked, and constantly talking through new ideas to further hone the details of what we wanted, and also what would be a deal-breaker for us.  (TIP: Pinterest is great for vision work and gathering ideas and energy!)

    We also started incorporating more of the feeling we wanted into our current physical space as well.

    For example, this may sound silly but… we bought a butter dish that I *love* and still love to this day!

    Yes, that’s a tiny detail in the grand scope of things. But this little dish completely embodied the energy of our new home and the new simpler life that we were creating. The cost was ridiculous in my opinion, but when I found it, I knew it was exactly what I wanted. So even though I was watching our budget, I splurged, and it was worth every penny! Why? Not because it holds butter any better than any other dish, but because it makes me smile every time I look at it, which moved us one step closer to our new life.

    Plus, being willing to spend that extra on a small thing that made me happy was in perfect alignment with the comfy, cozy life I was creating–a lifestyle that was rich in content and satisfaction.

    You don’t have to wait for your dream to manifest to get the feeling you are wanting.

    In fact, it’s not beneficial to live in waiting because that keeps you out of the flow. Rather, do whatever you can to bring the feeling of the new life you are creating into your current life. This will move you deeper and deeper into your new reality and potentially speed up your manifesting process.

    For me, I had bird feeders and plants on my porch so that I could get my nature fix, and wind chimes and candles to enhance my magick. I also made a point to appreciate the children and families laughing outside at the pool and the playground, which brought me the feeling of a happy family. And it didn’t hurt that we had a poolside apartment, so sitting on the balcony every day felt like living at a resort. (That was another sacrifice I had to embrace… no more afternoon pool visits right at the foot of our stairs. 😮)

    Even though the geography wasn’t ideal, our apartment really was wonderful for the time it served us. We were very fortunate to have had that amazing, joyful space in the middle of the hustle and bustle of suburbia; and we were grateful!

    Hold gratitude and appreciation throughout your manifesting journey, and celebrate wins along the way.

    To keep your energy flowing in an uplifting and positive way, it is important to celebrate any and all small wins along your journey. This could be a simple acknowledgment to the Cosmic Mother (or to your angels or other helpers), such as, “Thank you! More, please!” Or it could be a celebration dinner or other treat to yourself or your loved ones for a task completed or a milestone reached.

    It’s up to you how big or how small your celebrations are. What is important is that you stay in that flow of recognizing your good, which will keep you mentally and emotionally aligned with your intention and process.

    Sometimes the wait can be long, but it’s worth it!

    Over the next year we continued to prepare. We continued to grow our businesses and set aside money for our purchase and our move. We let go of things that didn’t match our vision, and also purchased new items that were in alignment with the energy we were creating.

    This is what it means to nurture your creation even before it comes to full fruition.

    • Continue to prepare to receive your desire when it shows up. If the opportunity comes to you, and you are not prepared to receive it, all of your visioning is wasted. Eventually, that which you are wanting will present in your life, and based on your preparation and flexibility, you will either be able to receive it or you will accidentally turn it away.  Always be ready at a moment’s notice to say “Yes!” to your heart’s desire and accept it with open arms when it arrives.
    • Stay mentally and emotionally engaged with whatever you are wanting to manifest. Think about it, talk about it, and imagine different possibilities related to what you are creating and how they would feel. This keeps your energy and mind focused on your goal. In science-talk, this keeps your Reticular Activating System always on the look out for stuff related to your desire. This constant awareness keeps your energy focused on what you are creating, which is good, and keeps your eyes and ears open for opportunities and solutions that move you closer to your desired goal.
    • Remove distractions that compete for resources, such as side projects that drain your time or your bank account and do not support your goal. You might even need to limit time spent with people that don’t support or fit in with the vision you are creating.
    • Make every decision with your creation in mind, always evaluating how each decision will affect what you are trying to manifest. Everything you do will either move you deeper into your vision and desire, or move you further away from it. Occasionally, there are things that just hang in the balance and do neither harm nor good, but most often, our decisions have a positive or negative gain in relation to our desired life.

    To quickly determine if a decision will move you in the direction of your intention, assess the projected outcome of the decision against the *feeling* of what you are creating.

    I am not saying that the action or decision you are weighing should be easy or feel good. Sometimes our best decisions are hard to make because they have a cost or a sacrifice tied to them. But if we know where we are going and are committed to the unfolding of our creation, we can find the strength to make those hard decisions and take the actions necessary, because we know that the result will ultimately step us deeper into the life we desire.

    Almost always, important things require sacrifice and determination. Be prepared to face these challenges on your quest, and know that you can overcome them when you are committed to your highest good.

    Again, this is why it’s so important to be clear on the feeling you are wanting. Without that touch point, you do not have a tool to measure your decisions and actions against, and you don’t have a strong internal emotional anchor to keep you on path if the going gets hard.

    Whatever your goal, some level of challenge will undoubtedly occur along the way.

    When this happens, I always think of it as the Universe testing me to see how committed I am. It is asking, “Are you sure you really want this? Are you willing to go the distance?”

    But with the feeling that you are desiring firmly rooted as the base of your endeavor, you have what you need to stay on track. Plus, overcoming obstacles along the way always make the win that much sweeter in the end, because you value it more.

    So celebrate every challenge as a learning opportunity, and simply do your best to keep making the next best decision possible, day after day, until your dream begins to reveal itself.

    Now here is where the magic starts happening. Your desire is close! You can feel it.

    Again, it’s all about “feeling”.

    Perhaps you see or hear, which I do as well, but mostly, my guidance is just the gentle pull or push to do something, call someone, etc.

    When you get that gentle tug, that’s when it’s time to take action!

    The trick is that you have to be aware. You can’t go through your day at 100 miles per hour rushing from task to task, place to place, and expect to notice the nudge. It’s usually gentle, not loud, so you have to pay attention to your body. Notice when something feels different, or you just feel drawn to something, someone, or some idea or task.

    If you’re not used to receiving guidance, here are a few things you can do that will help you learn to receive messages from your guides:

    • Set your intention to be more aware of your body during the day. A simple, but powerful sign of guidance is when a chill runs up or down your body. That was probably the first sign I ever received many years ago. You definitely feel it! The trick is to notice what is happening around you when it occurs. For me, it would usually happen when someone was saying something important that I should be paying attention to.

      There may be other feelings you get in your body, as well, that are trying to guide you, like a queasy stomach, a sudden inexplicable fear or a sudden desire to leave wherever you are or stop whatever you are doing with no obvious reason why. Feelings that are seemingly not tied to anything currently happening around you are a great way to identify what might be guidance at work.
    • Pay attention to ideas that are seemingly random or out of the blue. That’s how I know an idea or thought probably isn’t my conscious mind — it’s something else — because it is seemingly unrelated to the moment and not something I would ever think of on my own.
    • If you get the feeling that *now* is the time to do something, do it! This often happens to me when there is no obvious rhyme or reason of why now would be the right time for whatever I am feeling compelled to do. Sometimes, it doesn’t even make sense! But if you get an idea or feeling that you should suddenly do something, just do it (unless it’s dangerous or harmful, of course, which would be an indicator that nudge is not from your guides)! Try it and pay attention to what unfolds. This is the only way to learn your own personal signs and signals of guidance.

      For me, it’s always important that I follow the call of “now” when I get it. Timing does make a difference and getting that cosmic tool added to your toolbox can be a big boon for you in life.
    • Pay attention to your dreams. You can usually tell if your dreams are random subconscious stuff floating around from your day (like ties to conversations you had with people, or things you saw on TV), or whether they have some kind of omen or message in them. There are all kinds of ways that your dreams could be trying to tell you something important; and it’s usually pretty clear.

      For example, you might dream about a detail or a conversation about something you’ve been dealing with, and a new clue or piece of information is revealed to you in your dream state.

      For me, just this week, I woke up with the same random song in my head on several days. Eventually, I was able to figure out what the song was and who was the only person I could tie it to — someone from my past long ago that I hadn’t spoken to in years. I reached out to her and the timing was perfect. She was ready for something I have that will help her in her life right now! Ironically — or more accurately, not ironically — during this same time period, she also woke up dreaming about music that had ties back to me as well. (Did I mention that we haven’t spoken in many years? Guidance connected us through dreams!)

    It may take time and some trial and error to figure out your mode of receiving spiritual information. Be patient and just experiment.

    It’s kind of like learning how to communicate with someone who doesn’t speak your language. You have to come up with an agreed upon set of ideas or guidelines. The same applies when learning to recognize your own intuition, body wisdom, and higher guidance. If you are paying attention and participating, eventually guidance will find ways to communicate that work for you.

    For me, my intuition often comes as a feeling in my body– not visceral, rather more of a knowing — and when I act on that nudge, things tend to happen.

    In buying our new house, we had prepared for a little over a year when I suddenly had that internal prompt to reach back out to a loan officer, just to see if we were ready and could qualify for what we wanted. Something was nudging me to pick up the phone. I could feel it. So I followed the nudge and bwam! The stars aligned. It was time to get our house.

    So start testing your intuition now. Eventually, you will learn to discern what is truly intuition and what is not. (How do you tell the difference? Intuition helps. Mental chatter doesn’t.)

    If it doesn’t go well at first, that’s okay. It takes practice. Keep trying the different ideas above. Over time, you will start to recognize the feeling of the cosmic nudge more easily.

    Every tool you have in your spiritual toolbox is an asset. When you have learned to trust those tools through experience over time, you have access to additional information that others may not sense.

    Having this kind of access can be incredibly helpful when making decisions with unknown outcomes.

    Our most recent home buying experience was no exception. Once I got “the nudge” and we started making phone calls again, things started unfolding so quickly and intensely it was hard to keep up.

    The messages I was receiving from guidance seemed improbably, if not impossible. But we chose to be open to possibility, and we kept moving forward. Even as block after block seemed to challenge our path, guidance said, “Keep going.” So we did.

    If we wanted the house, we had to let go of control and trust guidance in spite of some serious risks, financially and logistically, if things didn’t pan out. All we could do was our best, and let the chips fall where they would.

    In the end, miracles happened, and we closed on our new home on time.

    There was no way we could have known that all the obstacles and mistakes we faced would work out, sometimes even to our advantage. But we chose to trust in divine providence and all the signs we had received along the way affirming this place was meant for us, and in the end, almost every delay or required change benefited us.

    We said “yes” when our desire presented, and followed through with faith and perseverance even when it was not easy. We chose to follow guidance down to the details, and we have never been happier!

    This place was definitely brought to us through divine assistance. The path was hard and scary, but perfect. The Universe did for us what we could not have done for ourselves.

    My point?

    Trust the process.

    There may be a time in your manifesting journey where things are scary and uncertain. The situation might even look perilous, like your project is going to slip away. But if you’ve been guided this far, now is the time to trust.

    This doesn’t mean ‘recklessly jump into something’ expecting the Universe to save you. That’s not how it works. We all have to do our due diligence. Work the process. Leave no stone unturned. Plan. Prepare. Nurture.

    There are no shortcuts. Keep doing the next right thing while you wait for your desire to show up in your life, and then when the time is right, receive.

    But if things suddenly don’t look like they are going your way, all you can do is evaluate how the process has gone so far, and use that information to make your next best choice.

    Have you already received divine assistance moving you forward? Does it feel right in spite of appearances? If so, keep going.

    Who knows? You might be misinterpreting whatever perceived issue is unfolding.

    What if we gave up because of all the obstacles that showed up when we were buying our new home? We would have missed out on the comfy, cozy, happy life that we have created in this beautiful place, and the crazy adventure that got us here (which we love telling stories about, by the way!).

    It was a total saga, but we did our part, we never gave up, and in the end everything worked out beautifully! We couldn’t be happier.

    But what if you haven’t really been receiving assistance on your path? Or all the evidence so seems to be working against you, instead of with you? Then what do you do? Keep pushing and try to force it?

    Forcing is not manifesting! (But neither is sitting on your couch.)

    Every January, I do a meditation to receive a new word that typically ends up unfolding over the course of the calendar year. One year, I received the image of a pinwheel like the children’s toys that you blow on to make them spin.

    The meaning was so clear… “You don’t have to push!”

    When you are in the flow, doing the work, and trusting the process, creation flows like a spinning pinwheel that is moved by the gentlest of breezes. Allow! Let go and let the Universe work for you.

    Just don’t be confused into thinking you can sit on your couch meditating all day, and a check will magically manifest into your mailbox with no effort beyond your positive thinking. That is bunk!

    Positive thinking and vision work have their place, but they are only half of the story.

    I have seen so many people do manifesting classes and commit to mental discipline, positive thinking and envisioning what they want, but never make any real world decisions that back up all of that non-physical imagining with action and effort to make their dreams come true in physical reality.

    What’s the old saying, “God helps those who help themselves?” 

    Whether you are a God fan or not, the intention of the saying still holds true. The role of the Universe is not to make things happen without us. Physical and non-physical work together, nature and spirit, hand-in-hand to make our reality. That means we have to do our part, not just sit around thinking about how our dream will be and expect it delivered on a silver platter.

    All of your favorite manifesting gurus that you take classes from are not sitting around meditating all day and daydreaming about the enchanted lives they want to create. They are out there working and investing and planning and preparing. They are running businesses! That is how you found them on TV, or at that conference or speaking event, in the first place.

    Don’t be confused into believe that manifesting is all mental/spiritual. It isn’t. That’s called wishful thinking.

    But at the other end of the spectrum, pushing your agenda through and manipulating outcomes is also not the energy of co-creation and manifesting. You may be able to force what you think is supposed to happen next, but what is the cost? In my experience, things don’t go very well when I am acting like a bull in a china shop.

    If you are having to bulldoze people, threaten or manipulate, I would do a little self-check, because that is not what being in the flow is about. The river should carry you along your path, whether quickly or slowly. You should be swimming with the current, not against it. You will know the difference. There will be signs if you are paying attention.

    When we were purchasing our house, even in the hubbub of what looked like chaos and obstacles, there were signs that we were on the right track. There would be an issue, and then it would resolve itself just by us continuing on path and taking the next best steps we knew how to do.

    So periodically, reassess to make sure you are still in the flow. If your dream is in alignment with your highest good, you will not need to do all the work yourself. The Universe will step in and support you.

    Stay in the game and play your best, but remember you have a whole team behind you if you allow them to play! That is where the magick is.

    But what happens if you do your part, and you leave room for the Universe to step in and assist, but it never shows up?

    If you’ve done everything you can without forcing, and things still don’t work out as intended, perhaps you can trust that whatever you were aiming for was not the best fit for you, and there is something better.

    I know, this is a jagged little pill to swallow, but bear with me.

    When I was young, I met a man who I was sure I was going to marry. I was head-over-heels in love with this guy. It never occurred to me that he wasn’t “my guy”. But in the end, our choices took their toll, and he ended up marrying someone else. I had always thought we would each live a little and end up back together when we were ready to settle down; so naturally, I was devastated when I found out.

    But in looking back, I can see that a marriage with him would not have gone well because we prefer very different lifestyles. He ended up with someone wonderful, who I adore, and who is a very good fit for him. And I also went on to find my best life partner as well.

    If we had married, it’s possible we would have been doomed to a mediocre life that wasn’t what either of us really wanted. Luckily, we didn’t have to go through that.

    The Universe helped us both out by separating us, even though I couldn’t see it at the time. Instead, what seemed like a heartbreaking failure ended up bringing both of us amazing people who are much better matches for each of us, and we are both happy! Life is good and I am so grateful.

    Another great example of “failure” that ended up being a divine win is the story of how a friend of mine got her dream farm that she loves so much.

    Some years ago, her and her husband had found a farm that they really wanted to buy. Emotionally, they were all in on this property. They had their hearts set on it. They even sold their house because they were sure the sale was going to go through. But they tried everything and just couldn’t work it out with the seller.

    It seemed perfect but clearly it wasn’t, because if it was they would have been able to buy it.

    Then after many months invested in trying to purchase that first property, one day, they accidentally drove by a different farm nearby that they had never seen before. It was everything they needed and wanted — even better than the first one — and no surprise, they had it under contract immediately!

    When they found that first property, they had done the work. They were ready to receive, but happily they were blocked from buying the wrong property for them. As disappointed as they were, when they finally let go of their attachment to the outcome on the first property, their best property was revealed almost instantly.

    Today, they are running their new farm, tending their horses and loving life!

    When you can hold your vision and do the work, while also letting go of attachment to the outcome, that’s when you are in the flow.

    This is where you want to be if you are trying to manifest something into your life.

    This is the art of creation and manifesting:

    1. Be meticulous in your vision work and identifying the feeling you are desiring in your life. For what reason is the thing you are wanting important to you? How will it benefit your life?
    2. Prepare to receive that which you desire: financially, mentally and emotionally. Line yourself up with whatever needs to be in place to receive your good, and remove yourself from anything unhealthy that is blocking you from it. Perhaps there is some healing work that needs to be done in order to be ready to receive. Assess yourself and your life and make your environment conducive for receiving your desire. Get help if necessary.
    3. Consistently tend your dream and give thanks every step of the way. Continue enhancing your ability to receive your good. Be prepared to make sacrifices when necessary, and act when you receive the nudge to do so. Be sure to notice synchronicities and celebrate wins along your journey, even the small ones. This will keep your energy and focus aligned with your intention.
    4. Trust the process. Often things may not unfold the way you expect, but if you have been clear in your intention, and you have prepared and nurtured your desire, you will have strong magick behind you, pointing you in the right direction all along the way. Trust the process when faced with twists and turns. Just keep making your next best decision, and release attachment to outcomes as the process unfolds.
    5. Receive. Say “Yes!” when your desire shows up in your life. You’ve earned it!

    And lastly, remind yourself…

    You are responsible for your part and nothing more. Always do your best and then allow the magick of the Universe to step in and assist. It’s messy and scary — simple but not easy — but the experience gained is always worth the effort.

  • Mystery, Magick & Myth: Witches, Neopaganism and the Gifts of the Goddess

    Mystery, Magick & Myth: Witches, Neopaganism and the Gifts of the Goddess

    Wicca and Neopaganism 101 (for the uninitiated)

    Throughout the ages, people have been afraid of what they did not understand, and often there was a price to pay.

    In 15th and 16th century Europe, this manifested as demonization of witches that led to the death of potentially tens of thousands of women and men. Although the fears that were propagated at the time are beyond belief in today’s world, there are still lingering remnants of their effects at many levels in our society. Specifically, Wicca and neopaganism are still held by many as something unholy, against God and to be shunned or feared.

    Let’s unravel the myths around Wicca and neopaganism, and take a look at the depth, presence and wisdom that can be learned from nature-based spirituality and honoring the archetype of the Goddess.

    *Note: I have chosen to write this article with a feminine focus, including talking about witches as “she/her”; however, there are male witches too.

    What is Neopaganism?

    Neopaganism is a modern-day revival of what is thought to have been the beliefs and ways of the pagans of the pre-Christian era — before everything became essentially man-centric and the new patriarchal church began pushing down and subduing the feminine energy, pagan goddess worship, and folk belief.

    Neopaganism is a nature-based spiritual path that was birthed primarily from agrarian communities. Their survival depended on the ability to grow crops and manage livestock, so of course, they had great respect for the cycles of nature. The wind and weather all but dictated if they would be able to feed their families. Nature ruled! The Goddess held their fate in Her hands, so it is not difficult to see why they might make offerings and celebrations centered around the Goddess (and the God), since she was intrinsically tied to their wellbeing.

    Neopagan Religions

    Two of the most well-known neopagan religions are Wicca and Druidism, both of which have their own varying schools and traditions within their own realm of beliefs and practices.

    In Wicca, there are several different popular traditions including Gardnerian, Dianic, Celtic, Norse, Solitary and Eclectic paths. Each path has its own practices, tenets, ideology or purpose, and perhaps varying cultural implications from the originating region of each tradition. For example, the Celtic and Norse traditions originated from two different regions of Northern Europe, so they use different names for the goddesses and gods.

    Neopagan Celebrations and Feasts

    While pre-Christian paganism did not have the official “Wheel of the Year” concept used by most neopagans today, they did have feasts, dancing, offerings, and celebrations that aligned with important times of the year relative to animal husbandry, planting, and harvest. During these celebrations, they made offerings and prayers for abundance and protection, often to Diana or Hecate, depending on the local culture and beliefs.

    The solstices and equinoxes are four of these important markers of the year. Today, these holidays are celebrated both in neopagan and secular culture and mark the beginning of each season. In Wicca, these are known as the Lesser Sabbats, or solar sabbats, of Yule (Winter Solstice), Ostara (Spring Equinox), Litha (Summer Solstice), and Mabon (Fall Equinox).

    Typically, neopagans also celebrate four additional holidays that mark the cross-quarters of the year, or the midpoints of each season. In Wicca, these are called the Greater Sabbats, some of which are widely known and celebrated in the secular community, including Samhain (Halloween) and Beltane (May 1). Imbolc, which is in February, and Lughnasadh (Lammas), which is in August, are also Greater Sabbats celebrated by Wiccans and neopagans, but less well-known in secular society.

    What is Wicca?

    Wicca is a neopagan religion most often represented by a pentagram. Wiccans often refer to their religion as “The Old Religion”, but it was actually birthed around 1950 by Gerald Gardner, with some precursors from the 1920’s. Although Wicca is technically a new religion age-wise, it is easy to see why Wiccans identify it as “The Old Religion,” since it is intended as an ode to pre-Christian paganism.

    Below are some of the common beliefs and practices specific to Wicca.

    The Wiccan Rede

    “Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill, An’ it harm none do what ye will.”

    Doreen Valiente, 1964

    This one line says it all — be mindful; do no harm.

    Although the Wiccan Rede was adopted several years after the birth of the religion, its closing line has become one of the most widely held tenets of Wicca and is essentially the witches’ guiding moral compass. While not an exact comparison, I tend to think of the Wiccan Rede as the Wiccan version of the Golden Rule.

    The Rule of Three

    The Wiccan Rule of Three is simple. When you cast a spell or work magic, you can expect its energy to come back to you 3 x 3. 

    For those who believe in this ideology, it reminds us that everything we put out into the world will come back to us threefold (or more). Good begets good; ill begets ill. If you steal, you may find that you will be stolen from. If you give to others, you may find that others give to you.

    Some see The Rule of Three as equivalent to karma, with consequences experienced in this life or perhaps even in another life along the way.

    I personally view the Rule of Three not as literal, but as more as an extension of the Golden Rule and the Wiccan Rede, reminding me to act according to what I would want to receive back in-kind or amplified. It is basically a personal check on my words, actions, and motives to help me stay in alignment with my highest potential.

    The Power of Our Spoken Word

    Both the Wiccan Rede and the Rule of Three show us the importance of being mindful in our actions. But we should also be mindful in our words and the energy behind our words. Witches, in particular, have a responsibility to be mindful of using negative or harmful words directed at others. Why? Because we have been trained to use our words as tools of magick, in this life and perhaps many other lives as well.

    I am very aware that what I say has special power. My words manifest my reality, intentionally or unintentionally. Combine that with having lived many lives as a witch of some sort or other, and you get a natural born spellcaster that can accidentally effect unintended energetic consequences by speaking thoughtlessly. This is especially true when those words are imbued with strong energy like anger, vengefulness, envy, or spite.

    The same goes for complaining or victim-mentality, chronically blaming others for everything that happens to you. These are all examples of spoken words and energy that can cause accidental manifestation with undesirable consequences.

    Most often, the results will affect the person with the undisciplined tongue, but sometimes others can get caught in the whirlwind as well. Therefore, it is the duty of a witch to be mindful of her words and her ability to manifest change every time she opens her mouth to speak. Or, if you cannot be mindful out of a sense of duty, at least consider being mindful simply for the benefit of self-preservation. The end results are the same, so whatever works for you, do it!

    Myths: Common Misconceptions about Witches and Wicca

    Now that you know a little about what neopaganism and Wicca are, let’s look at some common misconceptions.

    There were always superstitions surrounding midwives, herbalists, and healers, commonly labeled by the community as witches. All was well when things went well, but if something went wrong, “the witch” was always the one questioned as to whether she intended harm on the people she was supposed to be helping.

    Even in Pre-Christian times, when crops failed or there was disease or death, the people needed someone to blame. Witches were the perfect scapegoats to explain these occurrences. They would say the witch controlled the weather or poisoned the soil. This provided actionable recourse to their superstitions and gave meaning to the people’s suffering.

    Add Christianity to the mix, with the concept of Satan and the idea of witches consorting with the Devil, and you have a recipe for disaster. This, plus a couple zealous depraved monks (check out the Malleus Maleficarum, aka Hammer of Witches) from the European witch hunts, followed by a plethora of inaccurate and negative depictions of witches in television and movies, and you have a lasting prejudice against witches that continues even to this day.

    Let’s take a moment and debunk some of the common misconceptions that continue to propagate these fears and intolerances.

    Myth #1 – Wiccans Use Satan for their Power

    FALSE.

    The idea of Wiccans using Satan to gather power conjures movie-made images of a sorceress with electricity flying, invoking demonic forces.

    The religion of Wicca is actually far less glamorous.

    While we do see a fair amount of goth makeup and provocative clothing here in the United States, those things are already part of our society outside of witching, and I dare say largely inspired by television, movies, and music videos. This behavior and dress are not part of the religion of Wicca. It is simply a personal preference that some witches embrace, as do many non-witches.

    Personally, I identify as a hearth witch, so most of the witches I come across are often expressive, sometimes eccentric people who love vibrant hair color, gardening, and cooking. They enjoy making crafts, and studying herbs, plants, and rocks (crystals) to learn their magical properties. Some even make their own soaps, shampoos, cleaning products, candles, jewelry, and teas. Others study energy, manifesting, divination, alchemy, journey work (visions) and dreams.

    But whatever a witch’s niche, invoking Satan is not in the repertoire of a true Wiccan.

    Wiccans do not believe in Satan.

    Satan did not exist in pre-Christian times. Satan is a Christian manifestation, and therefore, by definition, pagans and neopagans do not worship him since they follow the beliefs and practices of the pre-Christian era.

    Pre-Christian pagans worshipped the Goddess and the God, with their folk belief tied deeply to the natural world. The concepts of Satan, Heaven, and Hell are not part of nature-based spirituality, and only rose to prominence when the church and state began to push Christian theology out to the pagan masses. The Christian church was responsible for introducing the idea of witches “consorting with the Devil” as well.

    Sadly, the spread of these ideas led to a surge in superstitious fear and ultimately the tragedy of the burning times, turning people against each other and brutally torturing and killing thousands of men, women, and children.

    Townsfolk accused their neighbors of witchcraft if they had conflict with them in the past, claiming the “witch” had damaged their property by means of magic. Wise women and healers were also accused of witchcraft and sentenced to death, along with others who were often different in some way.

    Other accusations used as evidence against witches during the witch hunts were that they were seen flying on the backs of black goats, that they were cannibals who ate children, and that they were clever and cunning beings who lured men into sex so that the Devil could steal their souls and damn them for all eternity.

    Obviously, these accusations are absurd at every level, but that does not change the stigma and fear that remains to this day, often in Christian communities where witches are still falsely associated with Satanism and Devil-worship.

    Myth #2 – The Wiccan Pentagram is a Satanic symbol

    FALSE.

    In Wicca, the pentagram is a sacred symbol representing earth, air, fire, and water (the four elements of nature), plus a fifth element of Spirit, with each element represented by one of its five points.

    It is an expression of sacred geometry based on the Fibonacci sequence, which can be observed repeatedly in nature, and which has been used around the world in sacred art and ritual dating back to 6,000 BCE. The pentagram was even used as a Christian symbol for protection before the symbol of the cross became dominant.

    Other popular examples of the Fibonacci sequence include the sacred spiral used in spiral dances and meditations, and quite possibly Leonardo da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man, which lies almost directly on the lines and points of the pentagram.

    Pentagrams in Use

    Pentagrams are found in jewelry, art, tapestries, ornamental boxes, and other objects symbolizing the Wiccan path, but they are also used in spiritual practice. For example, when working magick, drawing a pentagram from different starting points and in different directions represents different energies.

    Whatever the use, the Wiccan pentagram is not symbolic for Satan. Satan was introduced by the Christian church. Wicca is a religion focused on pre-Christian beliefs and practices.

    The Inverted Pentagram

    Much like the sacred Sanskrit Swastika was appropriated by the Nazis and is now associated with anti-Semitism, the inverted pentagram was appropriated by Satanists and Devil worshippers and is now widely recognized by the masses as a sign of Satanic devil-worship.

    An unfortunate biproduct of this appropriation is that Wiccans seem to be inaccurately associated with Satanism and the Devil, which is far from the truth.

    Perhaps here is where some of the confusion lies.

    Some Wiccans do use an inverted pentagram to represent the masculine God energy, because the top of the pentagram inverted looks like the antlers of Cernunnos.

    In some neopagan traditions, Cernunnos is the Horned God, representing the masculine — the sun, the Wild Hunt, virility, feasting, and pleasure. It is Cernunnos who runs in the forest and brings the earth back to life each spring, nurturing the crops as his energy (the sun) grows, until he begins to decline in the fall and the days grow shorter. He is associated with action, projection, the forest stag in rut, and all things sacral chakra, and is often depicted as a man with antlers.

    In neopaganism, the physical and spiritual realms are intrinsically linked, with spiritual essence as an inextricable part of the physical world. As such, there is no need to transcend the carnal world, rather neopagans intend to be fully present, mindful, and intentional in the physical world as spirituality in practice.

    Sexuality and celebration are valid and cherished aspects of the physical/spiritual existence and are not shunned like in the patriarchal religions where embracing the earthly experience is considered hedonistic and in opposition to overcoming the temptations of the flesh in order to experience enlightenment.

    Rather, the aspects of Cernunnos are all part of nature, and therefore embraced as a valued part of nature-based spirituality.

    Between the association with virility and the antlers (which Christians might choose to interpret as devil’s horns), you can see how there might be connections drawn between Cernunnos and Satan. However, there are clear and significant differences between pagans celebrating the male energy, and the practices of Satanism or devil-worship, as follows:

    • Devil-worship is the act of worshipping the Christian Satan.
    • Satanism has various churches of varying beliefs which either acknowledge the Christian Satan as an entity to be worshipped, or as an archetypal energy of freedom and self-empowerment that honors the carnal world as the ultimate experience, denying any external god.
    • Wicca is neither of these things.

      It is a theology based on the beliefs of the Pre-Christian era before the concept of Satan was ever introduced. Wicca and neopaganism celebrate both masculine and feminine divine energies, the Goddess and the God, and view them as contrasting and complimentary, together creating the whole like the Yin and Yang of the Tao.

      Wiccans also do not value the carnal world as pre-eminent over the spiritual world or deny the existence of the spiritual world. They see the physical world as imbued with spiritual energy, and life as part of the spiritual experience. Many value the physical world and nature as inherently divine, but they also value magick and the non-physical spiritual realm as well.

      Wiccans who use the inverted pentagram use it to symbolize the male god energy of Cernunnos. They do not worship the Christian Satan, or any god of self-indulgence or gratification at the expense of harm to others. Rather, Wiccans adhere to tenets of mindfulness and responsibility, as is made clear by the Rule of Three and the Wiccan Rede.

    Anyone who uses a pentagram to symbolize Satan is not Wiccan.

    Myth #3 – Magick: Witchcraft is Evil

    FALSE.

    To understand whether witchcraft is evil, first we must define what witchcraft is.

    Witchcraft can be said to be “the practice of magical skills to facilitate change”, but what does that mean?

    If you look up magic in the dictionary, you will find a slew of definitions. Two of the definitions which are relevant for our purposes are:

    • a quality that makes something seem removed from everyday life, especially in a way that gives delight
    • the power of apparently influencing the course of events by using mysterious or supernatural forces

    The easiest way that I can explain magic from my own practice and perspective is that magic is the essence of all existence. It is the magic of the Universe, the “spiritual stuff” of All That Is. It is the non-physical power, the juice that is in everything and through everything. It’s the mystery of life.

    Therefore, the practice of magick (with a “k” to denote spiritual magick), which used to be commonly called witchcraft, would be working with that essence that exists everywhere, in everything, to facilitate change.

    In the New Age community, some examples equivalent to magick would be the practice of metaphysics, energy healing, crystal beds, or reiki.  In Christianity, equivalent examples would be prayer and faith healing.

    In my work, I simply clear my space and ask for the highest and best for all involved. I then sense the energies at play and am guided through each gesture or idea to help my client see, hear, know, say, do or understand whatever will guide them toward their highest good and best outcome. We can set an intention, perhaps for clarity or healing or letting go of something harmful, and then we get out of the way and allow.

    We ask for Divine assistance and we receive it. For me, this is magick.

    Other examples might include waking up with new songs from my dream state, seeing an animal placed in my path and recognizing its animal totem wisdom, unexplained synchronicities that unfold for my higher good, or just being connected with the earth through my garden or the deer, toads, lizards, and birds that frequent my property.

    It’s all magical from my perspective, and I am grateful to receive these gifts.

    Mystery: Common Symbols and Concepts of Neopaganism

    The Power of Three

    Three is an important number in Wicca and other spiritual practices throughout time. There are multitudes of stories featuring key characters or objects that highlight the number three. The Norse have the three Norns, the Greeks the three Moirai, and the English the three Fates, all of which determine the lives of humans. The three Horae represent the three seasons. Celtic art and literature are full of images and references of three. Even Christianity’s primary symbol is a Trinity: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

    Three also encompasses the concept of a complete cycle:

    • past, present, future;
    • plant, tend, harvest; or
    • thought, word, and deed.

    The 3-dimensional world is considered solid and real, of substance, and yet, it is your third eye that can see and sense beyond the 3-dimensional world and into the non-physical realms of energy and time.

    Even in present day speech writing and marketing, presenting ideas in groups of three phrases or points strung together seems to have some extra potency in effectiveness and persuasion.

    Whatever the magical affinity to three, Wicca and neopaganism bear no exception. They have their own powerful symbols of three in The Triple Goddess and The Tree of Life.

    The Triple Goddess

    The Triple Goddess is a primary concept of neopaganism. It is symbolized by the Triple Moon, or sometimes the Celtic Triquetra (the Celtic Trinity knot), and encompasses multiple ideas in one:

    • the power of three;
    • the cycles of life; and
    • mastery of the three realms: the earth (flora and fauna, seasons and growth, and the physical world), the sky (the moon, magick, and the spiritual world), and the underworld (birth, death, and the subconscious).

    Over time, there have been many variations of the Triple Goddess. The oldest records seem to originate with Hecate depicted in three different attires, representing the three phases of the moon, and facing outward looking in three different directions, allowing her to see and protect all sides.

    Later, Diana was also viewed as a Triple Goddess: Diana as huntress, Diana as the moon, and Diana of the underworld, with other goddesses being added to this designation over time, including Morrigan and Brigid.

    Some versions of the Triple Goddess even include three different goddesses together as three-fold and three form with one each representing birth, life, and death, for example Artemis, Selene and Hecate forming a Triple Goddess.

    As with most things neopagan and Wiccan, the versions of the Triple Goddess used by each coven or practitioner depend on their tradition and personal connection.

    The Triple Moon

    The most popular symbol of the Triple Goddess is the Triple Moon. It is depicted as a full moon with two outward-facing crescent moons on each side, reflecting one another in balance.

    When working magick or performing ritual, the moon is an important part of Goddess and nature-based spirituality and practices. Wiccans associate the moon with the Goddess energy and recognize it as a strong source of power for crafting. The three primary moon phases that are used in pagan symbology are the waxing moon, the full moon, and the waning moon. In spellwork and manifesting, the new moon is also taken into consideration.

    • The new moon is the dark moon when you are setting intention and resting. You are taking inventory, being introspective.
    • When the crescent moon becomes prominent during the growing light of the waxing moon, you act, planting seeds and nurturing ventures or projects.
    • During the full moon, your magick is at its peak. Now is a good time to manifest your intentions. For instance, if you are going to have an official product launch, you may want to launch it during a full moon for maximum impact.
    • Then during the waning moon, when the visible aspect of the moon diminishes again, you can follow the receding energy and focus on things that will be decreasing. You can simplify, clear clutter out of your home, or let go of energetic stuff that does not serve you, like toxic relationships, overbearing responsibilities, or emotional baggage.

    As with all pagan practices, Wiccans strive to work with nature and the natural cycles of creation. Using the moon phases as a guide, we can follow her energetic changes and align our efforts with the natural moon energies for maximum benefit.

    Maiden, Mother, Crone

    Maiden, Mother, Crone is a core principle of the Triple Goddess, representing the three primary stages of life from the feminine perspective.

    • The maiden is the innocent, the child that blossoms into a young woman pre-childbearing. This is a period of growth and creativity, learning, and freedom from cares and responsibilities. She represents enchantment, inception, expansion, the promise of new beginnings, birth, youth, and youthful enthusiasm, and is represented by the waxing moon.
    • The mother represents nurturing, caretaking, and the protector. She is ripeness, fertility, sexuality, fulfilment, stability, power, and life, and is represented by the full moon.
    • The crone is the final stage of development. She is the wise old woman who is now aged in years and whose vitality is slowing declining until she rests in death. She is revered for her wisdom and cunning, which she has gained over the course of a long life. She represents wisdom, repose, death, and endings, and is represented by the waning moon.

    These stages represent all that is in the cycle of creation, from conception to death, each with their own gifts and attributes. When we are aware of these stages and the gifts of each, we can more easily bring these gifts into our own lives and better understand ourselves and our world.

    The Tree of Life

    The Tree of Life is a common pagan symbol that signifies the three realms, heaven, earth, and underworld, as interconnected.

    • The roots of the tree symbolize the underworld, death and the subconscious, emotions, and shadow work.
    • The trunk of the tree represents the physical world, the living, physical reality, humanity, and the conscious mind.
    • The branches at the top of the tree represent the heavens, the realm of the sun and moon (God and Goddess), the superconscious and spirituality.

    Often, the Tree of Life is depicted with the roots and branches mirroring each other. This can be associated with the spiritual concept “as above, so below”, meaning the macrocosm and the microcosm mirror each other, just on different scales and perhaps in different nuanced ways.

    I like to simplify this concept as, “Wherever you are, you are.” In other words, your life here and now is both an aspect of your higher self and deeper self, and a reflection of them as well. 

    The Tree of Life is also a great reminder that the visible portion of the tree, the trunk and branches which represent physical and spiritual life, cannot be healthy without healthy roots, the subconscious and emotions. This is why it is so important to do shadow work if we want to live full, balanced, fruitful lives. (Watch my shadow work video!)

    Circles

    The circle is a common theme of neopaganism and Wicca representing infinity and the never-ending circle of life. Circles are often seen circumscribing the Tree of Life, the Celtic Trinity Knot (Triquetra) and the pentagram.

    Another common infinity circle is the Ouroboros, the snake that eats its own tale.

    Circles are also prevalent in Wiccan magick and ceremony. Before beginning any ritual, witches will cast a circle of protection to create a sacred, clear space in which to work. Once the ritual, gathering or work is complete, the circle is then opened, and free flow of energy and people is again permitted.

    Similarities and Differences between Neopaganism and the Abrahamic Religions

    If by chance, you were raised in a patriarchal family or religion, or you have friends or family members who are part of the Abrahamic traditions, it is likely there is some discomfort with your interest in Wicca and neopaganism, from them and maybe also within yourself.

    To help navigate this resistance, I have listed some relevant points below that show both overt differences and some of the subtle differences between the patriarchal religions and neopaganism.

    Feminine and Masculine Spirituality

    The Abrahamic traditions, Judaism, Islam, and Christianity, are patriarchal, devoted to a male God, with little emphasis on a divine feminine, except perhaps in the mystic traditions which might see the Holy Spirit or the Shakina as feminine. Mostly, however, the feminine is portrayed as an “add-on” to man, and women are taught to obey their masters (men) as part of their servitude to God.

    In Wicca and neopaganism, the focus is primarily on the feminine, with many traditions honoring the masculine energy in consort with the feminine to create the whole and perpetuate the cycle of life. The Goddess is associated with moon. The God is associated with the sun. It is about balance and cycles. Day and night, winter and summer. Earth and sky, light and dark, yin and yang. All are seen as contrasting parts of the whole, with each pair representing opposite sides of the same coin.

    The Trinity

    The Christian church has the Holy Trinity of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

    Neopaganism also had a trinity, The Triple Goddess, which represents the cycles of life and the Goddess’ presence in each of the three realms.

    Duality

    Both patriarchal and neopagan beliefs include concepts of duality, but in different ways.

    In the patriarchal religions, God is separate from and independent of man and nature. Duality separates sin and holiness, man from God, and heaven from hell.

    In the Christian religion, sin is of the Devil and only God/Jesus are holy and without sin. To be saved (from an afterlife in Hell), you must reject sin and repent from it. Only asking Jesus for forgiveness of your transgressions and committing your life to him will allow you to transcend your earthly sin and live with Him in Heaven.

    In neopaganism, there is no concept of duality as something that needs to be transcended. Physical reality is believed to be inherently imbued with spiritual energy, not separate from it. Spiritual essence is ingrained in us and everything around us. The elements of the earth, rocks (crystals), plants (herbs), animals, all have spiritual essence and magical properties. Both physical and non-physical realms are seen as valuable aspects of spirituality. The non-physical world, the astral plane, and journey work (shamanism) are but another layer of the spiritual experience.

    As such, nature and everyday life are inherently spiritual and not something that needs to be repented for or transcended. There is no separation.

    Death and Afterlife

    In Christianity, there is a concept of Heaven and Hell as eternal resting places depending on whether you were “saved”. One place is eternal bliss and the other eternal torment and misery.

    In some neopagan traditions there is a concept of realms where some souls go after death, for example, the Summerland, or Valhalla and Fólkvangr for the warriors; but overall, there is no concept of waiting for a better place when we die. Rather, many neopagans simply believe in the idea of another cycle of life, which may or may not include a place for rest, revelry, peace, or joy, depending on your tradition and personal beliefs.

    In Wicca, regardless of the belief system, while there may be a sense of karma and a desire for personal or collective balancing of actions, there is no judge or jury that allows or denies passage to other realms or sentences punishment. It is truly a religion of self-responsibility.

    Wicca and Neopaganism in Practice

    Neopaganism is a basic outline of concepts used by various nature-based spiritual traditions. Within the neopagan umbrella, there are multiple paths sharing some ideology and diverging on others.

    Most neopagans honor the Goddess and the God, two energies that exist in the same space as complimentary aspects that create the whole. Some Wiccans only honor the Goddess with little or no focus on the masculine, such as Dianic Wicca. Others worship the Goddess, the God, and the lesser gods and goddesses, which could mean that they are polytheistic, but not necessarily.

    Some neopagans worship the Goddess and the God as real beings that exist “out there”. Others view them as archetypal energies in each of us, or some combination of the two. You can look within, or you can ask for help from outside yourself. It’s up to you!

    Personally, I do not worship the Goddess or the God as beings. I view them as aspects of All That Is, and as archetypal energies. I use them to define the basis for a spirituality that is whole and complete, including both internal aspects and external forces.

    Similarly, my spirituality is not solely in the higher chakras, the sky, or the heavens where the non-physical reside, but also in the lower chakras and the earth as well, embracing both light and dark, yin and yang, masculine and feminine.

    I also recognize what some witches and neopagans believe to be an underlying energy that is the fundamental organizing principle of all creation. This source energy does not have a personality. It is not an archetype. It is impersonal and acknowledged, but not worshipped in any way.

    Gathering, Initiation and Study

    In Wicca, your tradition, and whether you are part of a coven, will determine the general outline of your spiritual life.

    If you are in a coven, Wicca is an initiatory practice in which you progress through specific levels of mastery. Each tradition has its own rites, beliefs, and levels of attainment. In many traditions, the esoteric knowledge of that tradition has been guarded and kept secret from outsiders, being passed down either generationally or to new coven members typically after initiation.

    Solitary witches primarily participate in private study and practice as the name implies. They do not belong to any specific coven as a member, but may have gatherings with other neopagans or witchy friends for discussion, ceremony or other purposes, with each participant bringing their own unique blend of spirituality to the event.

    For the solitary witch, the sky is the limit to their practice, as they have complete and utter freedom in the traditions that they choose to draw from and the practices that they choose to embrace. Witches who choose to draw from multiple traditions are known as eclectic witches.

    Benefits: The Gifts of the Goddess

    For me, neopagansim is not just about embracing some Goddess ‘out there’. It is also about the goddess in me as an empowered woman, and really stepping into a deep respect and celebration of women in general. (Check out my episode, “The Empowered Witch: ‘No’ is the new ‘yes!‘”)

    One of the things that I love about Wicca and neopaganism is that sexuality and celebration are honored and respected as valuable parts of spirituality. The female body and all her cycles are valued and cherished as an integral, spiritual, important part of life; as opposed to the patriarchy, where even married women are often not portrayed as sexual beings in a positive way. Rather, feminine sexuality is often swept under the rug and is taboo to embrace.

    Being brought up with a fundamentalist Christian mother who operated under these principles, sexuality was never discussed and certainly never embraced in our household. This was very toxic and damaging to my self-image as a young, blossoming woman. Without a positive role model or understanding of healthy sexuality as embodied by the Mother Goddess, I was left to choose a path based on toxic, male-centric views of women as either prudes or whores. I simply had no other perspective to reference as I moved into womanhood.

    Similarly, the constant portrayal of women as needing to meet a certain image of beauty and girls being weak or less capable, and the relentless labeling of assertive, successful women as bitches, have all created a very toxic self-image for girls and women that has taken a deep toll over time.

    Healing this toxic culture of feminine-shaming is important to me, which is why embracing a Goddess-based spirituality that views the God energy as a vital and necessary partner, not dominator, is so important. As women, and as a culture, we need this reframe to heal our society and create balance and equity.

    Wiccan author, D. J. Conway, says that reconnection with the Great Goddess is vital to the health of humankind “on all levels”. She believes the Triple Goddess stands for unity, cooperation, and participation with all creation, while in contrast masculine gods can represent dissociation, separation, and dominion of nature.

    This is why a return to the Goddess and emergence of traditions like Dianic Wicca are prevalent in some new feminist revivals, because women and sexuality have been oppressed and repressed for a long time, since the patriarchy took over.

    Bringing back the Goddess and honoring the feminine and all her cycles creates a new dynamic, a new relationship for women with themselves and with the world. It creates confidence, balance, and stability. For me, that means a more holistic and healed view of myself, and of women and feminine energy in general. It is very empowering and, in my opinion, very much needed in the world today.

    References

    Wheel of the Year – World History Encyclopedia (ancient.eu)

    Popular Wiccan Traditions: Different Forms of Wicca – Wicca Living

    A Brief Summary of Core Wiccan Beliefs – Wicca Living

    Triple Goddess (Neopaganism) – Wikipedia

    MAGIC | Definition of MAGIC by Oxford Dictionary on Lexico.com also meaning of MAGIC

    The multi-purpose pentagram (rimasons.org)

    Pentagram – Wikipedia

    Christianity – Satan and the origin of evil | Britannica

    Witch-hunt – Wikipedia

    Satanism – Wikipedia

    Pagan – Afterlife and Salvation (patheos.com)

  • Bring Back the Light ~ Celebrating Yule

    Bring Back the Light ~ Celebrating Yule

    Video Description: Join me as I speak to One World Spiritual Center about the traditional Wiccan/neopagan mythology of Yule, and the heart gifts that we receive from the rituals and activities we enjoy at this special time of year.

    Lots of times, we have a tendency to think of spirituality as something that we’re bringing into us, some high ideal, or something apart from the physical world, as if the physical world is something to transcend. But I don’t see it that way at all.

    My deepest and best spiritual living is in the world, being in the world and part of all that is in this plane of existence, fully and consciously participating, instead of separating myself or holding myself apart. This is different from any of the other teachings I have learned in my life which tell me that I should be seeking enlightenment so that I can rise above this world “spiritually”.

    I see nature as divine in and of itself; and the spiritual experience is to be had in the physical world.

    That’s my perspective. It may not work for you. It might work for some of you. I don’t know. But that’s what I can share as my experience.

    So what does this have to do with Yule?

    Yule is a celebration of the return of the sun.

    The sun coming back was sacred to the tribal peoples. They needed their crops, they needed their livestock fed, they needed to survive the winter. From that perspective, it isn’t difficult to understand why the return of the sun would be revered as a sacred time of year. You would celebrate because you know what is coming. Solstice night marks the beginning of a welcome and much-needed shift back to slowly lengthening days, warmer sun, the beginning of new life coming again in the fields and waters and animals, which will, in essence, save you from the elements and perhaps even starvation.

    But there’s a whole other layer on top of that.

    The physical return of the sun is the “necessity” layer. But in the physical world, there’s another layer once you get past the need to survive. There’s also the layer of being present here, now, in this present moment.

    You hear about that all the time, “The Power of Now” and mindfulness.

    It’s no different in paganism or neo-paganism, Wicca, etc. An integral part of my “witchy ways” is that I am focused on being in the body in this place and time, and that is my spiritual experience in the world.

    For me, it’s not pondering how many hands have touched the food I am eating or the clothes I am wearing. That kind of thinking is a very cerebral exercise. For me, spirituality isn’t much about being cerebral. Rather, a large part of my spirituality is about the more mundane and primal activities, and paying attention to my body, my feelings, my senses, my actions… all the things that make me fully present and active in my life. And that kind of physical world awareness and presence is very much what Cernunnos is about.

    Who is Cernunnos?

    I hope I mentioned, Cernunnos is the horned God whose birth is celebrated at Yule. He is directly linked to the birth (or rebirth) of the sun in the physical world, and is the son of the Goddess born at Winter Solstice. He symbolizes vitality, growth, the hunt, action.

    *Note: I have always seen Cernunnos shown in art as a man-beast of The Wild Hunt at a time of the year when the sun has been strong and the forest is thriving. But as mentioned above, he is also the “sun” and “son” that is born to the Goddess on Winter Solstice. Like most things in Paganism which revolve around the wheel of the year, he then grows and thrives through the summer, and declines in the fall, only to be reborn again each year at the following Winter Solstice.

    So, when we are celebrating Yule, and embracing the promise of the return of the physical sun and mythological son of the Goddess, Cernunnos, we are also celebrating a return to vitality and action. We are moving from dark back into light. We are also transitioning from a period of cocooning and reflection, introspection, and gathering around the home and hearth, back into a forward movement of projection, creation, growth and vigor.

    We can take action again. We can be present in the physical world. We can manifest, not only by thinking, seeing and envisioning things, but actually working toward those things in the real, physical world.

    That’s one of the key elements that I see both in stoicism and in nature-based spirituality. Stoicism and neopaganism both put feet to the high ideals that we hold spiritually. They include taking action, making steps and being present in the world in a physical way as intrinsic to the spiritual process and experience, or philosophy, that we practice. It is the practices, not just the thinking, that leads us to the embodiment of our highest ideals for ourselves and our lives.

    So, let’s look at Yule from the perspective of promise in the physical world.

    We already said Yule is the celebration of the promise of the sun. We know the sun is going to come back. We can’t see it yet, because we’re celebrating at night — the longest night of the year — and the sun hasn’t risen yet for its triumphant return marking the beginning of the dark’s decline; but we know it’s going to come. That is the promise of the earth (and the Goddess) to us, and that’s what we’re celebrating at Yule. In this longest night, we’re celebrating the morning coming and the return of light.

    I want to share this poem by Patti Wigington. It’s about Yule, and you’ll see it’s about the physical aspects of Yule, but there’s an extra element at the end. Let’s listen.

    Yule

    The Wheel has turned once more, and
    the earth has gone to sleep.
    The leaves are gone, the crops have returned to the ground.
    On this darkest of nights, we celebrate the light.
    Tomorrow, the sun will return,
    its journey continuing as it always does.
    Welcome back, warmth.
    Welcome back, light.
    Welcome back, life.
    Shadows go away, darkness is no more,
    as the light of the sun comes back to us.
    Warm the earth.
    Warm the ground.
    Warm the sky.
    Warm our hearts.
    Welcome back, sun.

    Patti Wigington

    What did you notice?

    The poet begins with the physical world and the shift from dark to light. But at the end, the one line, “Warm our hearts,” makes clear there is much more that is significant about Yule, as well, and that is found when we move our attention from the physical gifts of Yule to the intangible gifts of heart-centered living.

    There is some magick that happens during Yule and it’s contagious.

    For me, while there is definitely something poetic and profound in pondering the mystery of the Universe on these dark cold nights. There is an equal and complimentary gift in the change of our hearts that happens at this time of year.

    We play joyful music that speaks of giving, love and playfulness, the beauty of snow falling or enjoying a warm and cozy fire with loved ones. People are kinder. They’re more open. They’re giving. You can almost feel it in the air.

    If you look for that warmth, you will find it.

    And that’s what I love about the Wyrd Sisters’ Solstice Carol. (Here’s my rendition. Enjoy! ❤️🎵) It says ‘the long night draws near, but all who need comfort are welcome by here’. Then it goes on to talk about ‘the sick and the poor, the hungry, the lost, all are our children, no matter the cost’.

    It’s about taking care. It’s about connecting.

    These are the intangible gifts of Yule, the things that we can’t put our hands on, but we feel most strongly. These are the things that make a difference in our world, in our lives and the lives of others. For me, this is the spiritual aspect of Yule, more than any symbology.

    Here’s another poem that I wanted to share. This as a Celtic-inspired Yule blessing, again by Patti Wigington.

    “The food is put away for the winter,
    the crops are set aside to feed us,
    the cattle are come down from their fields,
    and the sheep are in from the pasture.
    The land is cold, the sea is stormy, the sky is gray.
    The nights are dark, but we have our family,
    kin and clan around the hearth,
    staying warm in the midst of darkness,
    our spirit and love a flame,
    a beacon burning brightly
    in the night.”

    And again, where does that poem go? Straight to the heart.

    For me, that’s what being “witchy” is.

    I would consider myself a hearth witch, which you could shortcut and just say “heart witch”, in my opinion, because being a hearth witch is all about creating a sacred space in your home. It’s about cooking with loving care. It’s about being mindful of the energy you imbue into everything you create. It’s about honoring yourself, your family and your space. It’s about focusing on what brings you a feeling of community and care and warmth and sacredness.

    That is spirituality for me, and yet, all of those things I just mentioned are physical tasks. They’re things that you do — being present and active in the physical world. But it’s also about the energy that you put into your work as you do it, and the intention that you’re setting in your space.

    So while the physical gifts of Yule and the return of the sun are wonderful and a welcome relief for many, the intangible gifts are those that speak to my heart.

    Here are 3 heart gifts you can focus on to expand the magick of your holiday

    Connection

    When we feel connected in a good way, our energy expands. We smile, we laugh, we enjoy life.

    If you have friends and family who are open to celebrating Yule with you in a way that is mutually agreeable, terrific! But even if there are differences in faith and tradition around the holiday there are still some great secular rituals that can be embraced for time spent together in a good way.

    So what is a ritual?

    A ritual is anything that you do essentially the same way on a regular basis and that holds some personal significance to us. For some people that might be the sacred morning cup of coffee, a morning meditation, or even a Wednesday night family dinner.

    It doesn’t have to be faith based, and it doesn’t have to be fancy, either.

    Gift giving at birthdays and winter holiday is a ritual. Feasting together is a ritual. Church is a ritual for some people, or my family used to get together at least once a year for sugar on snow and slides of my grandfather’s vacation. (The sugar on snow was great; the slides were boring! 😮 Don’t tell him.)

    Whatever your rituals, take advantage of the ones share with others, and truly connect instead of just going through the motions. Be clear on your intention before you participate. What would the best possible outcome be? Set your intention to have a good time and then show up fully. Pay attention. Be mindful of the opportunity you have. If given the opportunity, really listen to the stories being told and share from the heart.

    At the spiritual center where I am the Music Director, they talk about ‘God is in the space between us, in our relations’, and I have to agree. While I might not choose to call it God, our connections are an important part of our spirituality. The energy between us has its own magick, and it is important that we tend to it as such, with careful consideration.

    We also have an opportunity to connect with the earth and the animals.

    Have you ever fed the local wildlife in your yard (or on your porch even, if you live in an apartment)? It sounds silly, but there is something magical about just putting out some cracked corn and watching the animals come and eat the corn. Even if you don’t see them eating, when you come back the next day and see they accepted your offering (it’s gone!), it feels good. And that too is something that you can do as a ritual each winter or spring, whatever makes sense where you live.

    When I was a child, my grandfather used to put out cracked corn for the bunnies and the deer, maybe some nuts sometimes for the squirrels, and birdseed and corn for the birds. And if a cardinal came, that was a very big deal, because up north, cardinals are not common like they are in the southeastern United States. And it would fill our hearts with joy and awe to see the little animals coming and eating what we had put out for them.

    It seems so simplistic, but there really is something magical and special about feeding the animals (preferably something healthy for them). If you’ve never done it, you should try it at least once. It might be harder if you live in the city, or in a dense suburb, but where we live, we have deer everywhere. So we’re going to try and find some cracked corn and rekindle that ritual that I had as a child. Look how long it’s stuck with me — many, many, many decades — and it’s still an important part of who I am. So that shows you the power of ritual and connection.

    We can also connect with the earth through wreaths and Yule trees, for example, both of which are evergreen, which is a symbol that life continues even in the dark season. We also often have a tree lighting or bonfire, which connects us both to earth/nature and each other.

    Creativity

    So far we’ve talked about wreathes and tree decorating, story telling and family meals. Perhaps you’ve noticed that all of these things also touch on the gift of creativity.

    At Yule, we have the opportunity to explore our creative side in many ways. We can make a wreath or create gifts for our family and friends. It could be bath salts, or body scrub. Or it could be cooking or baking homemade goodies. I know at least one of my friends baked piles and piles of sweet treats with her mom this year. That can be sacred time if you are mindful and intentional, and you make it so.

    And then, to top it off, you’re giving them away. You’ve made these gifts from your heart with love and now you are freely giving them away to people that you care about. How is that not a spiritual experience? Sometimes, we forget that spirituality is in, or can be in, all of these moments if we’re present and mindful.

    So we make these gifts… Spoiler alert! I’m going to make some granola. I love making granola! It’s delicious! So I’m going to make that one of our items in our goodie boxes that Paul and I are making for gifts this year. We’re not doing anything extravagant, but what we’re putting together will be done with love and intention; and that’s what magick is all about (and manifesting too!).

    For me, that’s what spirituality is about: making even everyday tasks sacred — chop wood, carry water. Right?

    And that’s also what being a hearth witch is about. It’s about creating that sacred space, and connection, and opening your creativity.

    If you’re decorating a tree with your family or friends, remember the purpose. You’re connecting. And even if you’re decorating alone, you are creating a space that makes you feel a certain way every time you look at it. Whether that feeling is peace or love or joy, whatever it is, you are creating a sacred space and a sacred presence.

    Another popular ritual at this time of year is caroling or wassailing. People come together and sing. That’s both creative and connecting. You get together and laugh and have fun. And if you go door to door and sing for others, you are also giving at the same time. You are (hopefully) brightening someone’s evening.

    Which leads me to the last heart gift I want to mention…

    Gratitude

    Yule brings gratitude, or at least it does for me. I am much more aware during this time of year, of the crisp cold beauty of nature, the warm and cozy home that Paul and I have created together, the opportunity to spend time with my son, the energy, warmth and joy that we put into making our gift baskets, and the blessing that we are able to make those little gifts for our family and friends.

    There’s so much to be grateful for, but sadly, we often forget this and take the natural world, our relations, our bodies, and our gifts for granted. Perhaps we’ve never known life without them. They are just part of existence, and we never give them a second thought. But if we treat our every day experiences differently, and we look at them as sacred, then that’s what they become, and that’s also the energy they will return to us as well. And when we can remember that, we can be grateful for all of these simple gifts that life has to offer us.

    As with anything, Yule is what you make of it.

    In my opinion, what’s important is not whether you believe in a baby Jesus, or the birth of the horned God to the Goddess, or simply the return of the physical sun. What’s important is the magick that happens at this time of year — in your life, in your relations, in your experience of the physical world — and the spiritual gifts that can be found in everyday moments. What’s important is how we treat ourselves, how we treat the planet, and how we treat others.

    In closing, I’d like to share this Yule poem by Susan Cooper.

    “So the shortest day came
    and the year died
    And everywhere down the centuries
    of the snow-white world
    Came people singing, dancing,
    to drive the dark away.
    They lighted candles in the winter trees;
    They hung their homes with evergreen;
    They burned beseeching fires all night long
    to keep the year alive.
    And when the new year’s sunshine blazed awake
    They shouted, reveling.
    Through all the frosty ages you can hear them
    Echoing behind us—listen!
    All the long echoes sing the same delight,
    This shortest day.
    As promise wakens in the sleeping land;
    They carol, feast, give thanks,
    And dearly love their friends, and hope for peace.
    And so do we, here, now,
    This year, and every year.”

    From our home to yours, we send you blessings of love, peace, joy, warmth, gratitude and cheer this holiday season. Blessed be.

  • Winter Solstice Carol

    Winter Solstice Carol

    Admittedly, there is not a lot of winter solstice music that I love; but this Solstice Carol written by the Wyrd Sisters is just lovely, so I decided to create my own version of it.

    Here’s to the return of the sun and the promise of the new year to come! May you all have a warm night of comfort during this longest night of the year.

    PS. If you like this solstice song, please check out my blog post and video about Celebrating Yule.

    Song credits:
    Solstice Carol written by The Wyrd Sisters
    Performed by Asha Lightbearer

  • The Empowered Witch ~ ‘No’ is the new ‘Yes’ ~ How to recognize and deal with toxic people and situations

    The Empowered Witch ~ ‘No’ is the new ‘Yes’ ~ How to recognize and deal with toxic people and situations

    One of the greatest things I learned from being witchy is to own my power.

    I don’t give it away to someone else to wield over me as I make excuses for their bad behavior, inconsiderateness or abuse. Rather, I hold MYSELF accountable for protecting the child-within and creating a safe environment for her.

    This is not the same thing as railing against someone else, which is futilely spent energy that could have been redirected into a more productive and beneficial path. It is simply understanding what is good and healthy–what is acceptable and even desired in my life and my world–and turning that awareness and energy both inward and outward as I care for myself, my loved ones and my environment.

    If you are trying to live a spiritual life in a good way, it is very easy to think that means being passive and permissive of others, even when they are behaving in ways that are detrimental to your well-being. Some of us have been taught that turning the other cheek is taking the high road; and that never being angry about someone’s actions or holding them accountable is a higher, nobler way of living.

    That’s bunk!

    Allowing others to abuse you, your family or your space does not make you a spiritual guru. It makes you a doormat.

    So how do you create your best life? Is it possible to both “take the high road” and hold others accountable for their actions in a way that is just and healthy? The short answer is, “Yes!”

    Firm, Fair and Wise is not ‘being a bitch’

    Let’s start with the myth that women who are empowered are bitches. Hopefully, at least at a conscious, intellectual level, you know that is not necessarily true.  But even then, it can be hard to let that knowing flow deeply into your whole self and to feel its truth. After all, many of us have been taught our whole lives that we need to play by the rules dealt us, even those that are unfair, misogynist, prejudice, etc.

    I personally believe that women especially often get dealt an uneven hand in this game.

    If you were fortunate enough to grow up in a family with a wise matriarch, you hopefully had a role model to teach you how to be strong, firm, clear and kind in the world in a woman’s body. You were lucky to be able to experience the inspiration and guidance needed to help you develop into a confident woman who knows her true power, source, value and values.

    But if you grew up like so many of us, in a male-dominant home that did not respectfully treat women as valuable equals, or you grew up in a home with dominant, domineering or abusive family members, you might have a harder time understanding what healthy boundaries even look like, let alone how to set them.

    So, let’s start to unravel that false belief that we are being “awful” when we say “no” or set clear boundaries. In fact, it’s exactly the opposite! When you practice healthy boundaries and creating balance in your life, you gain the skills, experience and space to be firm, fair and in integrity. Without that space, you are more likely to be retaliatory, angry, reactive and resentful; while creating a safe circle around yourself allows you to be more balanced and better equipped to deal with life’s challenges and difficult situations.

    So how do you know if you are making a healthy decision or having an unhealthy reaction?

    An easy way to determine whether you are on track or not is to ask, “Am I taking care of myself in a way that is respectful of myself, nurtures me, and draws clear lines to protect me from unhealthy behavior?” 

    Then check in with yourself emotionally and make sure there is no part of you that is intent on punishing the other person, getting even, or intending harm to them directly or indirectly.

    When we operate from these values in a firm and fair way, our actions are never against someone else, rather they are for us in a good way.

    So how do you judge what is toxic behavior and what is not?

    Does something make you feel supported or undermined? Empowered or fearful? Confident or wilting?

    Of course, you have to look at your own emotional complexes and baggage that could be influencing your feelings inappropriately, but a simple model for assessment is to look at the people and actions that trigger you and determine if there is a common denominator.

    What is it about that person or experience that triggers these bad feelings in you?

    Sometimes, identifying these truths can be rigorous work. It’s not for the faint of heart. You must be truly committed to getting a handle on your life and correcting these imbalances so that you can create more peace, more empowerment and ultimately more joy and connectedness. But once you understand what it is about the situation that offends you, then you have a chance to unravel it and determine whether the other person’s behavior is a detriment to your well-being.

    Ask yourself, “If I saw this happen to someone else, how would I feel? What would I do? What would I think the person in my place should do (if they could)?”

    If you would judge the situation as toxic for someone else, that helps you to evaluate the situation outside of your own reactiveness and prejudices so that you can gain a more objective perspective. This unattached assessment brings a level of clarity that can instill confidence in your reasoning.

    Another way to assess what is healthy and what is not is to remove the current situation from your assessment and instead look back at your history with this person or situation.

    • Is this a moment or a trend?
    • What other examples of this bad behavior have you witnesses over time? Are they all similar?
    • If you didn’t know the person, but you knew of all their historical “bad” actions and behavior, would you let this person into your inner circle, or would you prefer to steer clear?

    When you can use a simple review process of historical facts, it takes a little bit of the sting out of the current situation and helps you to make a clear decision based not on the current event alone, but on whether this person is toxic in general as a hallmark of their personality.

    Having this clearer picture over time can be very empowering. Facts don’t lie, only people do.

    Now you decide: who are you going to allow in your circle?

    In paganism, the circle is sacred and protected. Wiccans cast circles for performing ritual to define a boarder that both keeps out unwanted energies and makes space to work or to commune with energies deemed appropriate or beneficial.

    Our sphere of influence works much the same in normal everyday physical reality.

    We all have a sphere of influence that can be imagined as literally a circle around us that extends beyond our physical bodies and into our world. People and things that are in your sphere of influence affect you, your well-being and your life. As they move further and further out of your sphere of influence, they have less and less effect on your life. If they have no effect on your life, they are not in your sphere of influence.

    If you are the sum of the 5 people you spend most of your time with, then you best make sure these people emulate the traits and characteristics that you value most, because they will influence you–energetically, if nothing else.

    If you allow toxic people in your inner circle, you are likely to be more toxic yourself, one way or another, whether that is acting out or internalizing the drama and becoming toxic inside. Neither is healthy.

    As with spellcasting or ritual circles, or even intimate circles of trusted friends, hold this sphere of influence in your life as sacred. Would you bring something toxic into a sacred circle?

    With this question in mind, use your assessment from above to determine who and what should be allowed in your sacred circle and start making adjustments to improve your life and your well-being. In other words, stack the deck in your favor–more benevolent and healthy influences in your circle, less toxic and harmful influences in your circle.

    This single change alone can have a significant positive impact on your life from creating more peace and ease at home or work, to helping you feel more confident, to even increasing your productivity as your mind and body clear from the stress and fog of toxicity.

    Again, nothing is instant. There will be an adjustment period to go through in learning this new way of being, but it will be worth it. And your firm, fair and balanced approach will help you to remain strong and empowered during these changes.

    So you may be thinking, “Well, this all sounds good, but it’s one thing to recognize toxicity and know I would be better off without it in my everyday life, and quite another to muster the courage and determination to step away.” 

    Believe me, I totally understand! When I needed to get divorced, I knew for years before I found the strength and courage to act. Another time, I knew I needed to ask for a raise, but I was afraid that if the company refused me, I would have to accept poor treatment (inappropriate compensation) or I would have to leave to honor myself. So, I delayed that conversation for some time until I realized that I didn’t need to let their decision put me in harm’s way. If they refused a reasonable increase, I could then start preparing to leave on my own terms without tipping my hand. Who cares if they think they’ve “won”? I was in control and my approach was going to clearly show how much they valued me (or not). But that’s another story.

    My point? Every day is another opportunity to make a new decision. No matter how long it takes, it’s ok. It’s your timeline. You are in total control of what you do when it comes to boundary setting. You decide when, where and how; and what to do next if your boundaries are not accepted.

    Luckily, most things don’t require immediate and timely action or response in these scenarios. When you’ve finally had enough, you will make a change. It’s that simple.

    Practice Makes Perfect

    “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

    There is no line truer than that when it comes to changing your behavior and your life.  If you have not practiced standing up for yourself and what’s right for you in a healthy way, it’s not going to be easy at first. Saying “no” and setting healthy boundaries can be downright hard if you have no experience at it. But the good news is… it’s gets easier with time. And the more you draw healthy boundaries and stick to them, the more you build evidence that you can do it!

    You also will eventually start to see the positive rewards of doing so.

    At first, the repercussions of your actions may look contrary to improvement because people who have treated you badly in the past will most likely be quite inflamed when you try to honor yourself. They much prefer being in control. But eventually, as you remove their control over you, you will emerge victorious over your space and your life. It may not look the way you would like–things are not always tied up with neat ribbons and bows, but when the toxic people and environments go way, you start to feel better and you suddenly have the space and capacity to be more and more objective as time goes on.

    You will also get faster at identifying unhealthy situations and steering clear.

    In the beginning, you might not even realize that a situation was inappropriate until days or weeks later. But with awareness and practice, you will begin to identify toxicity faster and faster until you feel empowered, alive and confident in your own skin.

    But once you start being able to figure out what is truly toxic and harmful to you, how do you get the nerve to step away?

    Get your witch on!

    Part of getting your witch on is to be connected with the earth and earth energies, to be wholly grounded in the physical while also connected to the spirit realm, and to embrace your whole self: dark and light, warrior and healer, protector and innocent.

    In Wicca and other Goddess-based practices, Roman and Greek mythology, Hinduism even, archetypal energies are core to accessing spiritual energies, strength and wisdom. Sometimes, we must draw on those energies to create a whole, healthy, nurturing and empowered feeling within ourselves where we are complete. From this “place” we can bring that wholeness into our relationships and everyday life out in the world.

    To achieve this, it’s important to be both grounded and also open at the same time–open-hearted, open to ideas and possibilities, open to self-correction and open to drawing boundaries when appropriate, while also being grounded in reality, able and willing to assess and take action, and feeling strong in our bodies and our minds (or at least brave enough to walk through the fear).

    When we can be both open and grounded simultaneously, we can assess our world and our interactions without drawing false or biased assumptions or conclusions to our detriment. We can assess the current moment in a healthy way that can lead us to an empowered decision or action.

    The following exercises can help you balance your energy between spirit and earth so that you are fully aware, tapped in and fully grounded.

    EXERCISES

    Energetic – Grounding

    SITTING: Meditate with your palms facing down toward the earth. Be aware of your breath flowing down into your abdomen. Keep your “self” in your body. Focus on the earth pulling you down to her, the pull of your shoulders as they drop down and relax, your back straight, chin level. You are stronger than you know in a right and balanced way.

    STANDING: Stand with your feet spread comfortably, shoulders neither forward nor back, chin level. Feel regal–arms down with your hands in front of your abdomen, palms up, level with the floor as if you have a gift you are presenting to someone important. Be comfortable and relaxed and yet, gently firm in your stance. Feel the weight of your shoulders pulling you down to the ground. Feel the weight of your body on your feet, holding you on the earth. Your center of balance is below your solar plexus. The energy of the Goddess is with you. The warrior protects you. You are peaceful, firm and balanced. You are connected to the Deep. Allow it to embolden you in a good way and guide you on your path.

    Mental/Emotional – Toxicity Assessment

    Note: I highly recommend keeping a special notebook for your personal work. It will provide a safe place for your self-exploration and development. It will also teach your body and psyche that when you pick up that notebook, you are stepping into a safe place and a time of introspection, divination or other form of psycho-spiritual work. Like having an alter or other consistent and protected space for meditation helps you to build your energy and connection for working magick in that place, having this notebook will also have similar beneficial responses in your body-mind-spirit.

    Exercise

    If you need help assessing a situation or person that tends to set you off and make you feel or react badly, use the questions below to explore what might be driving those feelings.

    As your answers unfold on the page, *do not judge what you are writing*. Just like when doing a Wisdom Dialog, simply allow the writing to flow without editing or critiquing along the way.

    Let go of all opinions and judgements around whatever comes through as your pen crosses the page and just write. Allow and be open to truths that might want to surface now that you are ready to look at them.

    PART 1 – Answer the following questions in relation to the person or situation that triggered you:

    1. When I am around this person (or in this situation), I feel…
    2. Are there other situations in which I have those same feelings?
    3. Is there a pattern or common denominator in those situations?
      1. What fear or insecurity do these situations or people trigger in me?
      2. What is the boundary they are overstepping that makes me so bothered, angry or hurt?
      3. Is it their actions? Or my response that causes me the most upset?
    4. What could I have done differently in this situation?
      1. What could I have done differently in the other similar situations?
      2. Would any of those alternatives have made me feel better?
      3. Would any of those alternatives have made me feel worse?
    5. Do I have any regrets about my participation in this situation/relationship? What are they?
      1. Do I have any regrets about my participation in in the other similar situations/relationships? What are they?

    Sometimes, just answering these questions will make you feel better the instant that you realize what it is that was bothering you. Nothing needs to be resolved. You just needed self-awareness. You are done!

    But if the situation remains bothersome to you, continue to Part 2.

    PART 2 – Go back and review your answers to Part 1.  Ask yourself the questions below in relation to your written responses. This will help you determine whether you would benefit by removing the person or situation from your sphere of influence.

    • Are your answers true, honest and accurate?
    • Did you omit anything in any of your responses?
      • What?
      • For what reason did you choose not to include that in your answer?
    • Do you see any patterns in your responses?
    • Considering your responses, on a scale of 1-5 how toxic is this person or situation in your life?
    • Is it worth keeping this influence in your sphere?
      • What are the costs?
      • What are the benefits? (Negative side-gains can be added here if there is something a little twisted going on, like “I get more attention from others if they know I am constantly being victimized by this person” or “this situation gives me an excuse for why I have not been able to  get a job yet.”
    • What might happen if you try to remove this influence from my sphere?
      • If you don’t remove this influence, is it possible that the above answer might happen anyway?  e.g., I told a friend that if I tried to leave my husband, he was going to be a total ass and I really didn’t want to deal with it. She replied, “He’s going to be an ass anyway eventually. The question isn’t if… it’s when. You might as well get it over with.”  Touché!
    • If a friend was explaining their situation to you and disclosed the things you wrote above in your answers to the questions in Part 1, what advice would you give them?
    • If you are clear that the person/situation you are assessing is truly toxic, what are the obstacles to removing them from your sacred circle?
      • Is there a way to overcome these obstacles?
      • Is there anyone or anything (organization, etc.) that can help you handle them?
      • On a scale of 1-5, how ready are you to deal with this situation?
      • What can you do to get “more ready” to deal with the situation?
      • Will you ever be ready to deal with the situation?
        • If not, is it worth acting now anyway?
        • If you choose to do nothing, can you accept your part in remaining where you are in your life as a decision that is yours to make?

    Conclusion

    We always have choices. Sometimes, those choices suck! But we do have a choice. The question is… What decision will you regret; and what decision will set your soul free?

    Perhaps you are ready and willing to remove a person or situation from your sacred circle. Perhaps not. After all, you have the right to say “no”. And that’s OK.

    What is your most empowered answer?  Only you know.

    Ground. Meditate. Ask for guidance and know that opportunities and answers will come. Watch for your animal totems and synchronicities. And be patient. You will know when you must act.

    Until then, it’s just another day, whatever that looks like for you.

  • Channeled Message: How to deal with people who deny facts – from Lucius Veras

    Channeled Message: How to deal with people who deny facts – from Lucius Veras

    Today I woke up with a very clear vision of several African women (all in bright, beautiful traditional clothing and head wraps) holding huge cards in front of them. I could sense words coming to fill in the different cards. I knew I was receiving a personal development exercise, but I wasn’t sure exactly what, or how it worked.

    Nevertheless, I started filling in the words on each card as they came to me: Integrity, Creativity, Intelligence. When I was pretty sure I was not going to be able to remember any more, I grabbed my handy-dandy notebook from my nightstand and quickly sketched an outline of what I was seeing.

    It didn’t take long before I realized I was going to need more room. I started over, writing the raw words and phrases vertically, side-by-side like fence posts, in the order I visualized them on the cards: “creativity” near the left, “integrity” near the right, and so on and so forth.

    As I worked, more and more words unfolded to fill in the missing lines on my page–some alone, some grouped into relationships with other words on the same line. Things I had never thought of as being related started to come together on the page.

    I watched as my pencil effortlessly took notes of the concepts running through my mind’s eye.

    But then something changed.

    The words started to overfill the page and started to become disjointed fragments–some of which were just plain nonsense. Still, I chose to trust the process until it stopped, after which I took a moment and reviewed the results as objectively as possible.

    What had happened to my wonderful exercise that I was receiving? How was this going to help anyone? Where was the corruption coming from? It shouldn’t have been polluted – I started clean and clear. Had my brain taken over and made a mess of what was supposed to be a gift from Wisdom?

    The exercise that had begun as “Integrity”, “Ingenuity”, “Creativity”, etc., had morphed into “French Fries” by the end, literally.

    Instead of beating myself up too much though, I again chose to trust the process and simply started asking questions. I set my intention and inquired about the purpose of the exercise and the mishmash result I was left with. This is what I received:

    “The holy becomes splintered into factions that are unrecognizable. Their value gets contaminated with drivel so they can’t easily be seen as truth versus fiction.”

    I got the point. It made sense and was very easily understandable in the context of the way the words and ideas flowed onto the pages.  But I wanted more, so I opened a Wisdom dialog.

    The Channel

    I started my dialog by noting my own observations of the exercise that had just unfolded; but my journaling was quickly replaced with a channel within a line or two:

    “The exercise started as values, then a path to spirituality or perhaps a model that represents holistic spirituality and practice? But is Spirituality really the desired outcome? Or is it just a tool to the desired outcome?

    I would posit that Spirituality is a tool. The desired outcome is a sense of wholeness or greater being within oneself and in connection to everything—known and unknown.

    Clearly, right now, some of us would prefer to not be connected to some of what we see in the world. We don’t want any part of it and don’t want to associate with it. We hold ourselves separate from it and go so far as to say that we will not be part of this mutiny of values.

    Instead we seek a solution, a chance to overthrow the rebels who are not like us and don’t share our own philosophies and views, virtuous or otherwise.

    It’s always us against them, each one trying to do damage control.

    But in the “real” world, we can no more separate ourselves from them than we can build a bridge single-handedly across the River Themes[1].

    We must work together to create lasting change. We must seek global unification and community. But that is never going to happen within our current understanding of the structure, which is men and God, neither of which exist alone in the whole, solely and explicitly because if nothing else, each affects the other.

    Power-over will never win.

    The only path to peace and prosperity is through personal change and trying to do our part, our best, without making the other wrong.

    As long as we must make each other wrong, no lasting change will ever take effect and endure.

    Look at the political climate right now. One side makes changes; the other undoes them as soon as they have the power to do so—both believing they are more right and their way is the right way. Neither side is trying to destroy the country/the world. They just can’t see the world through any lens but their own.

    I personally believe that the only way to peace is through a grand effort to be accountable, work together in grassroots movements and woo the “others” into liking what you have to offer. It’s like making a sale rather than winning a debate.

    You do not go out to sell a product or service and beat your potential customer about the head. Rather, you show them their problem; or better yet, let them tell you their problem in excruciating detail. Then you suggest that if there was a solution, how would it change their lives? What would it look like? What would it feel like?

    Then you work with them to provide a solution, to help them achieve the desired state whether or not your product or offering actually addresses their original perceived issues.

    The problem they believe/perceive often isn’t really the problem at all. It’s just the only path they can imagine to the state they want to achieve.

    But the only way to find solutions to complicated problems – or rather, elevated solutions – is by working together.

    If it was easy, it would already be done.

    So brace yourselves for a turbulent year of growth and learning, because that is the path to victory, and we are all on this road together whether you want to believe it or not.

    Every action affects everything else it touches or comes in contact with—physically, politically—demonstrably in every level of personal and communal structure. We are all either part of the solution or part of the problem.

    Are you brave enough to be part of the solution? Because it is going to require humility, humbleness, kindness and love, especially when it’s hard or maybe even [when it] feels impossible.”

    ~Lucius Aurelius Verus Augustus

    The Source

    Well, OK, then! So let’s take a look at this channel and unpack it.

    It was clearly not channeled from a guide, as is evident by the many “I” statements and opinions, e.g., “In my opinion,”.

    I rarely get channels from deceased people. In the past, they used to come to me if they needed help crossing, but that is ghost work and is different. So this was definitely something unusual for me.

    Another oddity was that our current reality – what’s currently happening in the world right now – was clearly perceived and blended into the content provided in the channel, for example, the passages where he included himself in the collective ‘we’ as in, “We are all on this road together whether you want to believe it or not.” 

    This was weird to me, since he is clearly not in body here with us at this time or he wouldn’t be coming through my pen. So to be working with someone that is not a guide person, and considers himself to be part of the “we” even though he is long gone from this physical plane, was quite interesting to me.

    So now, I am perplexed. I received this great channel that seems to have some tough, but excellent points in it directly related to what is happening in our world right now. People need this information, but it’s not from a guide. It is from a person(ality).

    So, I have this great resource who is aware of the current goings-on in the world, and speaks from his own related experience and knowing about politics, relationships and business, but I have no idea what to do with this information or how to present it because I don’t know who it is from precisely.

    So, I go ahead and ask who I am speaking with. I get, “Lucas Aurelius”. 

    I am not a history buff by any measure and had never heard of Lucas Aurelius. However, I had heard of the famous Stoic, Marcus Aurelius, so at least I was familiar with the name and spelling and could more easily search on line for what I thought I had heard. To my pleasant surprise, although I didn’t find “Lucas Aurelius”, I found a reference to “Lucius Aurelius Verus Augustus”, ironically, who so-happened to be advisor to his senior, Marcus Aurelius, and Co-Emperor of Rome during that period.

    Fun! I had the real name of a real person from a significant time of history on this planet, and who had to have been a staunch Stoic if he was the advisor to Marcus Aurelius. Suddenly, the nature of the comments shared make perfect sense in the context of their origin.

    So that’s all great and everything, but what are the take-aways from this experience and channeled message?

    #1 – The time is ripe for this message.

    This came through Friday morning, January 31, 2020, and by Friday afternoon Brexit was passed in Great Britain and Trump’s impeachment trial in the US Senate had just declined any witnesses or requests for documents. A couple days previous, Trump announced his Israel-Palestine peace plan as well. All of these issues have been very divisive politically and created deep rifts in the countries in which they are happening.

    I had also been discussing both politics and Stoicism with the leader of my spiritual community on Thursday, the day before I woke up with this channel. I suspect that is what lined me up to receive this message that appears to be very Stoic in nature based on the name provided, “Lucius Aurelius”, and the methodical, balanced assessment and strategy provided.

    #2 – Something must change. What we are doing is not working. Our methods are causing more upset and division than they are solving problems.

    The United States is totally up in arms over the attempted impeachment of President Trump. No matter which side you are on, it is very difficult to see why the other side believes what they believe, and it is very hard not to feel like the other side is being played like pawns by an overtly corrupt party. So the comments, “It’s like making a sale rather than winning a debate. You do not go out to sell a product or service and beat your potential customer about the head,” makes perfect sense. Right now, provable facts don’t seem to matter, so winning a debate is not a good strategy. No one cares.

    And yet, wooing the others is a tall order. That is a tough recommendation to pull off. We obviously have some work to do individually and collectively if we hope to get to the next phase of our development; because right now, if our governments are any indication of our individual levels of awareness, we are sucking horribly.

    #3 – Beyond the philosophical and strategic concepts provided, is there an underlying spiritual message in this channel?

    Let’s start with the commentary on unification,

    “…in the “real” world, we can no more separate ourselves from them than we can build a bridge single-handedly across the River Themes. We must work together to create lasting change. We must seek global unification and community. But that is never going to happen within our current understanding of the structure, which is men and God, neither of which exist alone in the whole, solely and explicitly because if nothing else, each affects the other.”

    Is he saying that men affect God equally as much as God affects men? Does this play into the debate over whether God created man or man created God? Is he even saying that God exists beyond the construct of man’s belief and perception?

    And what about Stoicism in general? Is it helpful to you in your daily life?  

    Personally, I find Stoicism valuable for staying balanced mentally and emotionally, especially in the face of adversity–real or contrived. Stoicism can be very empowering for decision-making because you are prepared and and at the same time able to let go of the need to control. It is also a very nice mental/reasoning compliment to my witchy work that is more spiritual in nature and focuses on the intangibles of connection, creativity, intuition, magic and mystery.

    What about you? Can you apply stoicism in a beneficial way without undermining any spirituality that you may also practice?

    Footnotes
    [1] The River Themes reference

    I’m not much of a history or geography buff, so I was pleasantly surprised to do a little research and find that the River Themes is in London and has seemingly an inordinately high number of bridges crossing it, which means it was a great choice for the analogy in the channel of building a bridge over it. Fun!

    [2] Names of persons or entities given when receiving a channeled message

    In my own divination work, guidance has explained to me that names are about an energetic signature. So particularly with Spirit names, I might be given the closest equivalent that I can receive and understand. Even though it’s not exactly correct, what is important is that energetically, they are basically the same.

    I think it’s reasonable to assume the same thing happens with people’s names as well, because in some cases, I will not be able to correctly hear or understand the real name, so my guides have no choice but to provide me the closest possible thing that I can understand and go from there.

    Regardless, in my opinion, people stake way too much credibility on the name provided by the channeler as the source of the message. I have seen people who state they are channeling a specific being that is well known in certain circles, yet as I listen to their channel and observe, I am confident they are mistaken. I am not saying their channel didn’t have value or merit. I am just saying that a lot of this stuff can’t be proven and instead of believing blinding, it makes more sense to explore the content for its own merit. Does it ring true? Does it feel right? Does it help you in your life?

    Names are like icing on a cake, all pomp and circumstance. They’re not necessary as long as the person receiving the message is well aligned, and you trust they are tapped into a viable benevolent source. And when in doubt, block it out.

    This article was inspired by a vision/journey I experienced on Friday, January 31, 2020.