My mother is a fundamentalist Christian. I am a psychic witch.
My path diverged from the Christian church back in my teenage years, but it didn’t cause any major problems until I began studying energy healing when I turned thirty and quickly figured out that I was a gifted psychic healer.
Now, I knew my mother was a Christian, but it never occurred to me that just doing simple Reiki-like energy work would be a problem for her. She had been suffering from pain for years, and energy healing was something that I was good at. So, I figured the only right thing to do would be to offer her a session–just to see if she could get any relief.
Bad decision!
To me, it was just common sense: if you’ve been doing traditional medicine and you are still suffering, try something else. But apparently, she was concerned that my healing talents might be coming from some nefarious spiritual alliance that I was unaware of.
I tried to explain that she could use angels or Jesus as healing allies in the session, but that did not satisfy her. No matter what I said, her fear prevailed.
The Truth
From that point forward, I knew to tread lightly. Otherwise, if I said anything that was outside her and her sister’s fundamentalist Christian purview, I would get ‘Christian-splained.’
As infinitely impossible and arrogant as the following seems to me, they both are certain they understand everything in the Bible exactly as God intended it, and that The Bible was written flawlessly, with no undue influence or errors from the basic understandings of the time, the historical settings in which the different books of The Bible were written, human error by the writers (let’s be honest, channelers!), errors in translations, etc.
For them, it is the infallible Word of God. Not sure how they reconcile that intellectually, considering that the English versions alone have over 50 major translations, each with slight variations in wording and interpretation, and the Catholics have their own version with extra books included. But regardless, my mother and her sister are one-thousand-percent sure they know the “True meaning” of The Bible and everything in it.
Why are they so confident? They credit their understanding to their personal relationship with Jesus. However, they then apply that personal understanding to everyone else around them and assume their understanding is a Universal Truth that all of us are bound by. (Clearly they are not fans of the MYODB concept.🤭 But I digress…)
So how does that play out in daily life? Anyone who disagrees with their understanding is incorrect–even if they are religious scholars, even if they have gone back to the original Aramaic texts to check translations, even if they too have their own personal relationship with Jesus.
The Painful Silence
It didn’t take long for me to learn that there would be no discussion, no sharing, no alternative ideas or discourse, or I would get “Bible-thumped”.
(“Bible-Thumpers”: That’s what my dad used to call it. To me that makes me think of getting smacked on the head with a Bible. Not sure that’s what he meant, but that sure is what it feels like.🙄)
So, in order to avoid that unpleasantry, I simply kept my mouth shut and let them have their assuredness and lack of mystery or thoughtful questioning—at least most of the time.
Sometimes though, I would fail.
If I thought there might be an opportunity to share something from my world that was also in theirs—something that might bridge the divide between us—I would foolishly open my mouth. Sadly, it was always downhill from there (in a bad way).
There was no bridge to cross and no conversation to be had. So eventually, I just stopped trying to connect with my mother in any deeper way.
The drivel
Instead, our calls would consist of idle chit-chat with no real meaning or depth.
When I’d call, she would talk about the weather, what she ate for breakfast, how many minutes she toasted her bread or cooked her steak, and how many swipes of butter she used.
The minutiae were astounding. Every conversation was beyond trivial.
When I was younger, I had fun with my mother on outings, playing cards, shopping, getting Pizza Hut on my trips to the orthodontist. But as she got older and divorced my father, and I had my own divorce, she just became more and more private.
She never shared anything; wouldn’t give an opinion on anything, even if I asked for one. Her answer was always, “Just pray about it.”
Add me doing my own spiritual work outside of her acceptable scope, and things became even more strained.
Sure, I would call every few weeks because it was the right thing to do, especially since I was far away. But our lives were so drastically different in every way by that point, outside of the mundane tasks of everyday life, there just didn’t seem to be any relatable overlap.
The only thing we did have in common was that we were both deeply spiritual people, but how that showed up in each of our lives was radically different. So, I never talked about my work or any of my practices; I just steered clear of anything that could possibly conflict with her spiritual views because I knew it would upset her.
That courtesy was not reciprocated, however.
The Offense
Despite my mother knowing that we do not share the same beliefs, I continued to receive birthday and holiday cards with Bible verses and other Christian-based commentary in them for over a decade. She would call me and sing me Happy Birthday—not the version we all sang growing up—but some modified Christian Birthday song about ‘finding Jesus near every day of the year’.
Really?
While I can understand this is the lens through which she views the world, and I can appreciate that she took the time and care to at least send me cards on holidays, she clearly wasn’t thinking about what messages would be meaningful to me as the recipient, even though it was my birthday.
At first, it was disheartening. But eventually, over the years, disappointment turned to frustration as these and other interactions reinforced her lack of sensitivity, distrust of my healing and spiritual gifts, and general lack of acceptance of my chosen path.
Eventually, it became too much.
I felt disrespected and it became very difficult for me to appreciate her efforts.
So, one birthday, I was sick of it. I was angry at her complete disregard for my thoughts and feelings, and I told her the religious cards were driving a wedge between us, “So, please stop!”
This time I did not beat around the bush or drop hints. I was direct and assertive, and she didn’t like it.
She was clearly angry that I had set a boundary with her and enforced it, but apparently, that’s what it took for her to finally get the message and change. The religious cards stopped, and I was grateful.
That meant a lot to me and felt like a positive turning point in our relationship.
Still though, on phone calls, she would constantly talk about her faith and how she’s always praying for me, etc.
I know that doesn’t sound so bad written in one line in a short article. But for me, it was constant, on every call, while at the same time, I knew that my own point of view would not be welcomed or received.
At that point though, I did not confront her again. I just chalked it up to disappointing and inconsiderate, and I chose to let sleeping dogs lie.
It just wasn’t worth the turmoil of how I would have handled it at the time, so I didn’t address it.
Then something unfathomable happened.
The Hidden
One day, out of the blue, for some reason, my mother suddenly decided to share with my partner (now my husband) that she has been seeing ghosts and having supernatural and ecstatic spiritual experiences all her life!
I could hardly process what was happening as she recanted her stories with wide eyes and pure glee, like a proud little child.
To make matters even more interesting, her stories and experiences were largely identical to my own.
I couldn’t believe it.
We have had nothing to talk about for decades!
I have watched her recoil in fear because she was afraid that I was working with the Devil or some such nonsense. And yet she has similar psychic skills as I do, but she hid them!
There were no words to express how I felt in that moment.
The Revelation
I had been rebuked spiritually, and talked down to for years, decades even, only to find out that we have had nearly identical experiences. And she was excited about it, giddy even!
I left the room to collect my thoughts and process the moment. I was dumbfounded. I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing and hearing.
It was absurd that I had been shunned for decades for the same gifts and experiences that she has as well.
When I returned, she was still going on with her stories. Then she looked at me and launched into, “I know you don’t believe this, but …”
That was it! I couldn’t be silent any longer. It was time to discuss the elephant in the room.
In that moment, her soul opened the door and created an opportunity for me to stop constantly living in damage control and avoidance mode.
A difficult, but long overdue conversation unfolded. This time, however, I was able to communicate from a vulnerable and heartfelt place, instead of a wounded, unskilled place.
Was it painful? Yes, for both of us. Many tears were shed. But I learned a lot.
The Understanding
I learned she too had feelings around our disconnect.
She too had to make choices to stay in any level of relationship with me, because my actions and vocation are out of alignment with her beliefs.
She also felt like I was trying to change her beliefs, even though I was always the one on the receiving end of religious education and judgment from her and her sister.
We both felt unaccepted.
But ironically, the answer had always been right under my nose, in plain sight.
My mother was never going to accept my spiritual choices or my intuitive gifts because her beliefs cannot allow her to do so. There are no exceptions.
It doesn’t matter if I’m her daughter and she should know that I am not evil. It doesn’t matter that I am logical, intelligent, kind and compassionate. It doesn’t matter that I think Jesus had an important message with important teachings.
Nothing matters to her except the words I use, and her need for absolute, unquestionable Truth. She needs to be able to put things in a box that she can label and file—black and white—no inquiry allowed.
My mother is a fundamentalist Christian. I am a psychic witch.
She is fearfully and vehemently averse to “witchcraft”.
Of course, by her own admission, she has no idea what witchcraft is. She can’t define it and has no idea what it looks like or how to recognize it. Her only concept of witchcraft is the word itself, and the label “witch”.
And the Bible says to stay away from witchcraft and sorcery, and that’s all she needs to know.
Nothing else matters… Not science. Not history. Not common sense. Not a desire to understand her daughter’s choices and what they mean in practical life and application.
She doesn’t want to know any of the history of Christianity or Christian holidays/schedules. She doesn’t want to know what my beliefs or practices look like.
She has no interest in knowing what is important to me spiritually, what I believe, what I do, or what being a witch means to me personally, because in her mind, it is too dangerous.
I have used the word witch in the past and that was all she needed to know. Full stop. In this, she was abundantly clear: anything not in the Bible is not relevant to her life and not something she should be learning about on any level. If it’s not in the Bible, she doesn’t want to know.
The absurdity landed fully on me.
The Healing
In that moment, the profound irony of the situation hit me and I found relief.
Her intense fear, near total ignorance of the evolution of her own religion, and unwillingness to learn about any other practice or culture even a little bit—combined with the withholding of crucial information that could have been used to help bridge the chasm in our relationship and find some common acceptance and interest—was exactly what I needed to break free of any negative feelings about my spiritual gifts being shunned and feared.
In that moment, my feelings of guilt about not being a good daughter and not wanting to spend time on superficial weather-talk conversations washed away.
I had tried to bridge the gap multiple times in different ways. I had tried to find something meaningful to talk about. And all the while, she had information that could have changed our relationship years ago, but she hid it.
Equally importantly, I also came to understand that due to her beliefs, she will never (in this life) be able to see my skills and talents as anything other than dangerous, even though many of our psychic abilities are practically identical in form and function.
You would think I would have felt disappointed at this revelation. But ironically, I didn’t. Quite conversely, I finally felt free!
I finally understood at a deep, heartfelt level that her feelings and fears have nothing to do with me or my abilities, and there is nothing else I could or should have done to try to bridge the gap between us.
It’s possible, even, that we will never fully engage in a relationship with meaningful dialog again, because it is out of her comfort zone. She is a secretive person and rarely shares anything personal about herself. For her, weather-talk is good enough. That is what she is comfortable with.
I am a shadow-worker and alchemical healer. I need more for a deeply connected relationship. There must be some level of emotional intimacy and vulnerability. Without that, there isn’t much point, in my opinion.
So yes, there will always be fundamental limits to our interaction. Yet somehow, knowing those limits and boundaries clearly now feels remarkably freeing, instead of stifling like before.
All hopeful expectation is relieved and now I can choose to participate without feeling hurt, rejected, unseen, or unknown. For her to truly know me would be impossible under the circumstances, and it’s not my fault.
As a result of finally engaging and doing a little truth-telling where it hurt the most, we now have a new homeostasis, and with it, new possibilities for engagement without all the emotional baggage underneath.
Happily, I see a freer and happier future for us in our visits and time spent together. And that’s good news for both of us!
Follow-up: More has changed since I wrote this article a year and a half ago. I’ll share that in another post, but it’s another big aha that has shown up in my life twice in the last couple of months, and really blown my mind in a good way!
Hint: It’s about reciprocity and a fresh perspective that makes applying alchemical work on the physical plane (in real-time) easier.😏
Have you ever had a moment when you really want to speak up, but you didn’t?
What if it’s not too late? What if you could tell your loved ones all the things you wish you’d had a chance to say? Or what if you could make that toxic person, who never listens, finally hear you?
In this episode, I explain what Soul Communication is, and how to use it when you can’t talk with someone in person. With it, you can improve current relationships, heal old wounds from relationships that have come and gone, or say goodbyes to a loved-one who has passed.
Ever had a moment when you really wanted to speak up, but didn’t?
Sometimes we can’t think fast enough in the moment, or we don’t feel strong enough to stand up for ourselves. Sometimes we simply miss the chance to tell someone we love them because we take for granted that we will see them again soon.
But what if it’s not too late? What if you could tell your loved ones all the things you wish you’d had a chance to say? Or what if you could make that toxic person who never listens finally hear what you have to say?
In this episode, I’ll share with you my favorite Soul Alchemy tool, Soul Communication, what it is and how to use it. With it, you can improve current relationships, heal old wounds from relationships that have come and gone, or say goodbyes to a loved-one who has passed.
And the best part is, anyone can do it!
IN THIS EPISODE:
The Basics of Soul Communication
How it works
When it’s helpful to use
How to try it at home
Results: If you try this work on your own but don’t feel like it did anything for you, you probably weren’t connected fully and were using your rational thinking brain and imagination more than your intuitive awareness and emotional brain.
The magic of this process is connecting all three levels of your awareness (rational, creative/spiritual, emotional) to create a psycho-spiritual experience that is deeply heartfelt and cathartic. If you did notfeel the work you were doing at a heart level and even in your body in most cases (e.g., muscle tension, tears, an unburdening of your shoulders, perhaps), you probably were working from an intellectual level and didn’t go deep enough.
That doesn’t mean this process is not a good fit or that it won’t work for you. It just means you will probably need some assistance to get the results you desire.
Most people don’t have vividly clear premonitions that they fully understand, but the mother-to-be in the video below did, and it saved her life!
There is no denying the order of events that unfolded in her story; and it is clear that if she had not acted on the psychic information she received, she probably wouldn’t have survived.
So what’s the difference between her and the rest of us?
She believed the messages she was receiving, and in spite of the risk of people thinking she was crazy, she acted on them.
She told her friends about her visions, and also asked her doctors questions about the details she saw that would lead to her death on the operating table. Because of her courage to speak up, her doctor had what was needed when she flat-lined, and was able to save her.
Since then, she has continued to receive messages from the other side, and through experience, has come to trust that they are real and valuable, not figments of her imagination.
Like anyone who has ever seen or heard something from the spirit world, or had a paranormal experience with verifiable details, there is a point where you have to choose whether to accept what is happening to you, and start believing the messages you are receiving, or you have to push them away and shut down your connection.
In my personal experience, allowing, receiving, and believing tends to be much more beneficial for all involved.
So how do you know if your guides are trying to communicate with you? For most people, it will be a feeling.
We’ve all heard someone say, “it just felt right,” or conversely, “something felt off.”
That’s your intuition speaking!
Comments like these also frequently come with a sense of incredulity when spiritual guidance is at play. Why? Often, there is nothing on the surface to indicate an obvious reason why something would be a good or bad choice, but nevertheless, you have this sense that it’s “the right choice” or “the wrong time”.
Likewise, when it’s time to make important changes in your life, you can feel it. Even if those changes are scary or intimidating, you can feel yourself being pulled to take action.
Whether you want to think of this as inner-wisdom or external guidance doesn’t really matter. Either way, you are experiencing some kind of sixth sense guiding and protecting you.
Another way to recognize guidance is to pay attention to your choice of words when talking with others.
For example, you might tell a friend that you are feeling drawn to make a decision or take an action. Or you might just know that now is the time to do something. These are feeling, sixth sense words, not left-brained analytical words.
When you hear yourself say (or think), “I just feel like I have to do this,” or “I don’t know how I know, I just do,” or “I have this nagging feeling that won’t go away,” those are all great indicators of guidance at work.
Or, you might suddenly have an inexplicable (and unexpected) heartfelt emotional response to something.
I’m not talking about irrational angry outbursts, or PTSD, or hormonal imbalances. I’m talking about just plain’ole deep, heartfelt emotion, or a sudden deep sense of connection that moves you in a spiritual way. It may even be so strong that it chokes you up a bit or brings tears to your eyes.
An example from my life is: if I write a song lyric that is poignant, and my guides want me to know that it’s a good line that will touch my listeners emotionally, I will suddenly feel humbled and connected and teary. Likewise, when I am faced with an opportunity that will move me to the next level in my work or my life, I will suddenly tear up.
It’s like watching a really touching moment in a great movie, and you can’t help but feel the powerful emotion of it all.
For me, when I have that sudden wave of emotion and connection, that’s my sign that I am on track with whatever I am doing or contemplating.
To learn your own personal signs of guidance sending you a message, you will need to become an observer of your own life. Watch yourself as you go about your day, and notice any unusual feelings in your body, or unusual thoughts popping into your head.
Are you saying something profound to someone, or hearing something important, and suddenly a chill runs through your body, you get goosebumps, or you feel a warm flush in your chest? That could be your sign.
Simply be observant, and you will eventually start to learn your own patterns and responses, so that you can recognize when your guides are trying to tell you, “Pay attention!”
And remember, the only way to get good at something is to practice, practice, practice.
Not only will you need to practice learning to recognize and receive guidance, but you will also need to practice making decisions and taking actions based on the guidance you receive.
In other words, you will need to practice learning to trust.
In order to receive the full benefits of working with your guides, you will need to learn to trust both them and your ability to connect with them. Otherwise, it can be very difficult when you are guided to do something you really don’t want to do, even if it’s for your highest good.
That’s why practicing when it’s easy is important, so that you can trust and follow through when it’s hard!
Note: If you are hearing destructive voices in your head telling you to hurt yourself or someone else, this is not the voice of your guides!
Please seek mental health support immediately.
In the United States
General mental health support crisis line Call: 800-950-NAMI (6264) Text: 741-741 Monday – Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET Chat: NAMI HelpLine – Chat bubble in bottom right corner
This video provides a quick and easy energy exercise that can help you to reduce agitation from overstimulation and sensory overload. Each step in this short solution is covered in detail to help you learn to visualize the process and move your energy safely and effectively.
Additional Instruction:
In this video, I mention that the process works immediately for me, but I move energy every day and have been doing it for decades, so I am adept at manipulating my energy effectively. If you are not practiced in this art, you may not have the same level of results right out of the gate.
Keep practicing! You will get better at it.
And if overstimulation is a frequent occurrence for you, I highly recommend that you practice this exercise while you are not already in sensory overload. Rather, make this practice part of your daily routine every morning before you start interacting with others or venture out into the world.
Doing so will help you to set a new homeostasis for yourself that over time will leave you less vulnerable to overstimulation. Plus, the more you practice, the better you will get at it. You will start to feel the steps instead of thinking about them.
So don’t give up after one try. This is an energy practice and it will take practice to learn.
Even after you start getting results, continue the ritual for several more weeks so that you can establish a new normal with healthy energetic boundaries.
At some point after that, you can experiment to see if you still need the ritual daily, or if you can stop and only use it as needed. But by then you should see a difference and hopefully you will find that you are overstimulated much less frequently.
Have questions about this process? Comment below. 👇
Vision Boards are more than just a fun art project
They are an effective way to get new ideas and motivation for what you want to create in your life, to make a claim on the Universe for what you want, and to juice up your mojo around your intentions.
Ask any advertising executive, and they’ll tell you that well-chosen visuals can help you step into any experience. Companies spend millions of advertising dollars on videos, images and sounds to give you that “Wow, that could be me!” feeling that makes you want to buy whatever they are selling.
So why not take advantage of this known science for yourself, and use it to move thoughtfully and intentionally toward a future you love? A vision board is a fun and creative way to do this.
How does a vision board help you to manifest something you want?
The power of images is immense. Like music, images can act as a gateway to the subconscious mind, opening doors not usually available during your normal, busy day. Working with a vision board capitalizes on this innate subconscious access to help you overcome resistance to having what you want, while at the same time instilling a mindset of acceptance and expectancy that allows you to receive your desires when they show up. A regular vision board practice will also help you stay focused on your goals and will train your brain to recognize opportunities that move you toward achieving them.
Over time, these changes can have a significant impact on your inner reality and will prepare you for outward results.
Reprogramming your brain to release emotional blocks and overcome resistance
The first step toward creating something new in your life is to make space for it, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. This can be a challenge if your life is full of old baggage and clutter.
If you want a new partner, clean your closet to prepare your home. If you want a new job or to retire, plan your exit strategy or “off-ramp” from your current position.
The same applies emotionally as well. You must make space mentally and clear away any internal resistance to having whatever it is that you want.
Recognizing and Releasing Emotional Blocks
One easy way to recognize internal resistance is to simply pay attention to the thoughts that cross your mind when you think about whatever it is that you desire.
For example, you might hear old programming telling you, “You’re too old to find a new romantic partner!” Or “Suck it up, Buttercup. There is no perfect job! Get over it.” Or how about this little beauty, “Maybe, it’s just not in the cards for me.” (I have literally said those words before with much resignation and personal drama. Yikes!)
Sadly, this “poor, poor, pitiful me” story that we tell ourselves comes from pain and unrealized dreams. Being stuck is heart-breaking! But it’s important to be aware that these stories stop us dead in our tracks and prevent us from having the life we want.
Undressed from all the drama and hurt, their true nature is that they are simply excuses designed to block us from throwing caution to the wind and going for the gold.
Venturing out of your comfort zone is scarier than sucking it up and doing nothing, so your brain throws up obstacles to prevent you from getting out there and dating, or starting that new business, or taking the art class you’ve been eyeing. It’s logic: if you don’t try, there is no risk of damaging your self-esteem with failure or embarrassment.
But at what cost?
If your excuses are preventing you from reaching your hopes and dreams (or even trying!), they aren’t protecting you from hurt and suffering. Rather, they are keeping you in perpetual hurt and suffering. So while this negative self-talk may have good intentions—trying to keep you safe from heartache, disappointment or failure—it’s really harming you every day that it stands in your way. Instead of helping you, it keeps you in pain, want and lack.
This is why it’s so important to clear all the garbage out of your psyche. Otherwise, your subconscious mind will secretly conspire against your efforts, holding you back and making progress much harder than it needs to be. But if you can quiet that internal resistance and negative thinking at a deep level, not just superficially, you can make space for new opportunities and abundance.
Working with your vision board can help you with that process.
Desensitization
Desensitization is the process of reducing or eliminating an emotional response triggered by a particular stimulus, typically through repeated exposure. Over time, the severity of the emotional response will decrease, and may eventually even shift to something new.
For example, studies show that over a prolonged period of exposure to violence, participants’ perception of the level of harm being done shifted from alarm and repulsion at the onset of the study, to complacency or even arousal by the end of the study.
The same applies when faced with a repeated positive stimulus as well. For example, a special annual ritual that you cherish, like Samhain or Winter Solstice or even just a monthly dinner with friends, can be a joyfully anticipated delight. But if that ritual occurred every day for any significant period of time, the magic would wear off pretty quickly.
So let’s take a look at how we can use desensitization to pave the way for better manifesting.
If you hold any internal resistance to having what you desire, repeated exposure to your desires through your vision board can lessen that resistance. Each time you interact with your desires on your board, your subconscious is watching and building evidence to determine whether this interaction is a threat or not. Over time, your repeated interaction with the items on your board day-in and day-out, with no harm done, will eventually lull your brain into complacency and turn off the “danger alert” mode that was originally being triggered. When this happens, the negative internal feedback related to having what you want will decrease or stop.
For example, if you add a photo to your vision board of something that you currently believe is out of reach, negative thoughts may pop up right away when you start intentionally working with your board. But over time, any initial negative reactions will diminish to background noise (or maybe go away altogether). Instead of your subconscious demanding your attention and causing self-doubt, you might actually find silence, or maybe even curiosity.
When the nagging voice of doom finally stops barking, congratulations! You have successfully cleared out some of your emotional baggage, and are on your way to something new.
Getting Comfortable Having What You Want
So far, we’ve focused on resistance and our brain’s natural inclination to repel new ideas that are outside our comfort zone. But now that you know how your vision board practice can help you to mitigate negative self-talk, so that you don’t block what you are wanting, it’s time to look at the flip side of the coin: getting your body and mind used to the feeling of actually having what you want.
Part of the struggle with allowing new experiences and opportunities into your life is that even the most pleasant developments can be an unexpected jolt to your system, throwing you off balance.
If you have never ridden a bike before, or it’s been a long time, that first ride might be difficult, if not injurious.
The same holds true for new territory in work, travel, romance, friendships, and other life experiences. No matter what you are embarking on, if you are a newbie or are out of practice, you might want to brush up on your skills a bit before launching full tilt.
Common sense tells you that if you are traveling to Chile and don’t speak Spanish, you might want to learn how to use a translation app on your phone, review a map of the region where you will be staying, or talk to others who have been there to avoid common foibles.
Similarly, it is also helpful to prepare your emotional body for new experiences and feelings as well.
Without proper preparation, manifesting something new into your life can sometimes feel overwhelming when it finally shows up. If you aren’t prepared to receive, you can accidentally turn away or sabotage the very thing you have been wanting when it arrives.
This can be avoided by normalizing your desired experiences in your mind and body now, in advance.
Using a vision board is a great way to do this.
Normalization
Normalization is when something new is no longer strange and uncomfortable. Rather, it has become familiar.
When trying to manifest something new, it is good to normalize the feelings of the new experience in your mind and body before they show up in your life. Otherwise, a sudden influx of new experiences can be confusing and overwhelming, especially if you had previously believed these experiences were beyond your realm of possibility. In this state, it can be difficult, if not impossible, to receive what you have manifested.
For example, if you are not used to feeling in love, you may be skeptical when a good romantic partner shows up in your life, and you might turn them away. If you are not mentally and emotionally ready to take that cruise that you’ve been dreaming about, when the opportunity presents to go with friends, you might not be able to make your decision to buy swiftly before it sells out. Or you may not have the money set aside, even if you could have afforded it with a little pre-planning.
These kinds of errors can undermine opportunities even when they are already at your doorstep, just waiting for you to say yes!
But you can combat these unnecessary failures by normalizing the experience you want in your body and mind ahead of time. That way, when an opportunity for what you want finally presents itself, you will be comfortable enough to take swift, positive action and receive your good.
Working with your vision board can help you prepare.
How to work with your vision board for best results
There are a number of different ways to use a vision board. It really just depends on how much time you want to commit to working with it.
For some people, simply the act of creating their vision board is enough to satisfy them. The journey was the desired outcome, and they are done. Others may choose to hang their vision board in a place where they can see it frequently and admire it when they feel like it. This helps them keep their goals in mind and will give them a quick energy infusion whenever they glance at it. Terrific!
At their most fundamental level, vision boards are intended to be a fun, creative process to get your energy flowing. So if you feel complete with either of these simple, easy-breezy approaches, that’s wonderful. Sometimes, “good” is good enough. Do it!
But if you want to use your board as a serious manifesting tool, for best results, you will want to work with your vision board regularly. Doing so will help you transform the relationship you have with the things you desire, creating openness, acceptance and positive expectancy. This will allow you to more easily move in the direction of your dreams.
Below are a few simple techniques that can help you amp up this process.
#1 – Make some focused time to work with your vision board daily or weekly
When working with your vision board, you will want to make sure that you have time to be fully present and mindful, if only for a few moments each day. It doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out process. You can focus on a single item each time you work with your board, or multiple items, whatever works best for you.
Regardless of your approach, keep this time free from distraction so that you can focus and feel the work you are doing. Treat it as an opportunity to step away from the rush and hustle of your day, and relish these few moments alone with your dreams. This will feed your subconscious and nurture your desires, helping you to bring them to fruition.
#2 – Make your vision board work sacred
If you intend to use your vision board as a sincere spiritual tool, I would recommend you consider your time with it sacred, and approach it with reverence and earnestness.
For starters, have a designated space or room that is peaceful and private while you work. It doesn’t have to be a permanent space dedicated only to your vision board. It could be your favorite reading nook or your kitchen table. But it should be a place where you can minimize external distractions temporarily so that you can be fully present and grounded.
Using the same space each day, will help you to create ritual around your vision board work. You might also want to include a gesture or action to help you switch gears and step into a feeling of divine connection before you begin. For example, you could ring a bell, light a candle, or take a slow, deep, intentional breath, then exhale your worries and cares before beginning.
And of course, all good ritual includes a closing as well. You could take another moment of centering, blow out the candle, or ring the bell again. If you are witchy, you could cast a circle to start and close it to end. Whatever you choose, just think of it as magical bookends around your work. Aim for something that speaks to you and helps you get in the zone, and you will be good to go.
#3 – Connect with the items on your board from a place of emotional satisfaction
Once you are centered, take time and look at each item on your vision board with starry eyes of loving appreciation and a warm heart.
Intentionally daydream about experiencing each item. Include as many senses as possible.
Is the sun shining? Are there any pleasant smells that you associate with the experience? Is there a physical sensation involved?
Also, focus on the positive emotions you experience during your mental excursion. How do you feel? Now notice how these emotions feel in your body.
Soak in all the good feelings and sensations you experience as you linger on each item.
#4 – Anchor the “good vibes” in your body
So far, your vision board work has been mostly mental, linking conscious (desires) and subconscious (emotions), plus some general awareness of how those emotions feel in your body. But let’s go a step further.
Did you know that your body has memory? Body memory is powerful and can trigger powerful emotions, positive or negative, depending on the experience that created the body memory.
For example, trauma is often stored in the body and can be triggered unexpectedly by pain or specific touchpoints. These triggers can cause sudden, unwanted, spontaneous reactions.
But body memory isn’t limited to only negative associations. Positive associations can also be stored in the body. We can intentionally do this using a technique called body anchoring.
When used as part of your vision board process, your experience evolves from a mental and emotional exercise to a physical one as well. This creates a more multi-faceted approach to your manifesting work, further enhancing your ability to receive.
To place a body anchor, imagine how it will feel to experience your desire. When you are fully entrenched in the positive vibes of your dream, intentionally touch or massage a specific place on your body that feels relevant and appropriate.
For example, let’s say that you want a new house, and you have a section on your vision board of some great photos that really exemplify the vibe of the kind of house you want.
Do all your normal steps of bonding with the photos and visualizing what it is to be in your new home. Feel the love in your body.
Then, while you are intimately connecting with the energy of the experience of your new home, gently, lovingly or gratefully touch or massage a point on your body while you continue to hold that expansive, full-up feeling of having what you want. This will help you to anchor your positive feelings for your desires in your body, creating a deeper neural pathway each time you repeat the exercise, and adding another dimension to your manifesting work.
Don’t overthink this technique. It’s very simple.
For example, you can cross your hands over your heart, touch your fingers together, or cradle your hands together in front of you in a posture of receiving and thanksgiving. Or, if you notice that your heart chakra is warm and full-up, you might want to rub your chest where your heart is.
As long as the anchor point feels right to you and is a good intuitive fit (and not contrived), you are on the right path. Choose any point that makes sense to you. Experiment and find what works best for you.
(Note: If you have a history of trauma, be very mindful using this step and choose your anchor points appropriately. And, of course, always be kind to yourself and your body. Your relationship with yourself at all levels is central to your healing journey.)
Body Poses & Mental Rehearsals
Similar to using body anchors, you can also use body poses to anchor certain feelings in your body while working with your board.
Body poses are powerful conductors of energy. They directly affect your psyche and overall well-being. So whatever pose or physical action you choose, make sure it feels right for the sentiment you want to experience.
Athletes do mental rehearsals before competitions as an important part of their preparation. You can do the same to try on new attitudes and ways of being, through visualization and also using body poses and play-acting “as if” you are already having the experience you desire.
For example, if you want to tap into your inner warrior and build self-confidence, you might consider planting your feet firmly on the ground shoulder-width apart, chin slightly up, shoulders back. Really feel your body in this position. Use your imagination. Become the peaceful warrior, powerful and wise. Visualize standing your ground and speaking your truth with strength and equanimity. You might even want to make a declaration out loud to the Universe, or chant or yell. Notice how good you feel emotionally and in your body.
Feel free to really go wild with your imagination and try different things. Whether you would ever do a specific action or say the same words in public is irrelevant. What is important is that you feel the experience in your body and mind.
You may feel silly at first, but stick with it. It will get easier the more you practice, and eventually, this new way of being will feel more normal in your body and your mind. Over time, you may start to notice these practiced ways of being emerging in your public interactions, as well, which is the end goal.
Creating Positive Expectancy
Repeated mindful work with your vision board will slowly reprogram your brain to trust that the feelings and experiences you have anchored and practiced are both good and possible. It will also prepare you to receive what you want when it arrives. But in order to manifest what you desire, there is another function that must be actively working for you, as well, to help you spot opportunities that could bring you closer to your dreams.
This capability is controlled by the part of your brain known as the Reticular Activating System (RAS). This system connects your subconscious and your conscious brain. It controls your wake/sleep cycles and basic levels of arousal or awareness.
Its function is to receive the billions of stimuli perceived by your senses, and then to quickly determine which sensory input to allow through to your conscious mind, and which to filter out and throw away. Without your RAS, you would be overwhelmed and unable to function. There would simply be too much competing information for your conscious mind to process at any given time.
So, how do you tell your RAS to send certain stimuli through to your awareness instead of filtering them out?
Repetition.
Every time you work with your vision board with intentionality and focus, you are telling your brain that the items you are focused on are important. More intentional exposure creates deeper neural pathways (channels in your brain) related to those items. And because the brain loves efficiency, when your RAS receives new stimuli related to what you have been focusing on, it will start sending that data down the channel you have created for it (i.e., to your conscious awareness).
Think of your brain function like a river. Where water flows repeatedly, channels are carved into the earth. The more water that travels through these channels, the deeper they get. At the same time, as a channel becomes deeper, more water naturally flows into it as gravity and inertia do their work.
Your brain is similar. Deeper pathways literally occur as a result of more familiarity (time spent) with certain things, feelings, or experiences in your life. Pathways used frequently work most efficiently. They are the first route for data flow from stimuli related to whatever created the pathway.
When working with your vision board regularly and intentionally, you are creating deeper pathways in your brain related to the items on your board. The more time you spend, the deeper the related neural pathways become. Your RAS will then prioritize related stimuli as relevant to your life, and will send them through to your conscious awareness (instead of dumping them in the trash with the other junk that bombards you every day).
That’s great news for you, because it means that the more time you spend working with your board, the more likely you will start seeing related opportunities “show up” in your everyday life—not because they weren’t there before, but because your RAS was previously filtering them out. As a result of your work, however, efficient pathways now exist and your brain will be happy to deliver new relevant data to your conscious awareness.
What to expect when working with your vision board
If you work with your board consistently, over time, you will see that you are moving closer and closer to what you desire, not because the board itself is magic, but because you identified what you wanted, captured its essence with images and art, and then used your board daily to remind yourself of your intentions.
If you willfully wrap yourself in the feelings and ideas of your board on a regular basis, you will see change in your life. The changes you experience may not look exactly like what you had pictured, but you will notice that you are lining up with the sentiment/feeling of your board.
Sometimes the changes you see may feel like you’re moving away from your goals.
Don’t worry, that’s normal.
Using your vision board every day will make you very clear and focused on what you want, which also means that you may become very aware of what you don’t want, especially if you find yourself in a situation that seems to be the antithesis of the items on your board.
If this happens, don’t be discouraged. This is great news and often a huge step forward!
I’m sure you’ve heard it said before, “Awareness is the first step of change.” Once you are aware of what isn’t working for you any longer, you can take a long, hard look at your choices and options, and the effect those things will have on your life. From there, you have the power to change your situation or choose not to.
Sometimes, making changes to get back into alignment with your desired intentions might be quick and easy—all you needed was the aha of noticing that your decisions were taking you off track. But other times, the choices can be much more difficult, requiring faith, perseverance, commitment to your highest intentions for yourself, and often some discomfort along the way.
Don’t be deterred! These moments of divine discontent are an important part of your manifesting journey.
I like to think of it as the Universe testing you to see if you are going to give up and settle for what you have now, or commit to keep moving toward your desires. If you quit, you will never know what could have been. If you commit to taking action, every step forward will build new confidence, starting a forward-moving machine that can propel you to where you want to be.
Remember how you developed those deep pathways that retrained your brain to focus on what you wanted? Don’t give up now. Persistence pays off!
*Spoiler: Most of my best decisions for my well-being and personal evolution have been the hardest decisions to implement because they have required a “leaping-off” of the known path. There was almost always a significant amount of fear involved. But these have also been the most rewarding decisions in my life. When you walk through the fear, instead of abandoning course, you will eventually come out on the other side, and you will be stronger, wiser, more resilient, and better equipped to continue on your journey.
Progress, not perfection!
After some time has passed working with your vision board, go back and notice the thoughts you now have about each item on your board. Have they changed?
What was once, “That would be nice, but there’s no way,” may suddenly sound more like, “Well, I guess I could do XYZ.” The perceived harm of what you would have to give up, or face, to step closer to your dreams starts to diminish over time.
You may never attain the exact situation on your board, but that’s OK. With persistence, you will move closer and closer to the experience you desire, stepping more and more deeply into living what you love. If you are really mindful about your life, and you truly want to get the most out of your vision board experience, consider that perhaps the journey is the destination.
Sure, you might get that big-ticket item you were wanting, but you might just as likely find that you didn’t need it because the feeling you were wanting was achieved well before your goal was met. Or maybe, you just become uninterested in something on your board. That’s OK too. This is about moving forward and experiencing abundance and creativity, not about absolute, concrete items and ideas.
This is why it’s so important to choose your vision board items based on the feelings they evoke as much as (or more than) the exact thing they represent. Feelings are the experience you desire—the adrenaline and power of driving a fast car, the endorphins of being in love, the comfy, cozy of warm apple pie or sitting by the fire—and sometimes, if you can remain open-minded, they can come in a much simpler, straightforward way than you were envisioning.
Creating Your Vision Board
Feelings are the currency of satisfaction.
Every well-done vision board sets a tone when you look at it. In other words, different vision boards will each have their own unique character. They can be joyful, intense, carefree, or motivational, to name a few. A good vision board will elicit feelings and spark your imagination. It might make you dream of romance, get in touch with your inner-warrior, or tap into some other specific vibe that you want to bring into your everyday life.
When choosing images and art for your vision board, be mindful of the emotions that each selected item evokes for you when you view it. Think about how you want to feel and the overall experience you want to create in your life. Choose items that inspire those emotions when you look at them. This will have the most effective impact when working with your board.
When you place items on your board, consider how they feel in the grand scheme of your design. If it feels good, do it! If it doesn’t, you might want to do a little re-arranging or pairing down.
And remember, one size does not fit all. Vision boards are very personal. Don’t compare yours with someone else’s in a critical way. You can ask for input if you’re stuck, but ultimately, this is about what looks and feels right to you, not anyone else.
Lastly, you don’t have to create a masterpiece to enjoy the journey, anything personal and heartfelt will do. And, your inner child will love you for it!
When is the best time to create a vision board?
Timing is everything—or not, in this case.
A lot of people like to create vision boards in January to map out possibilities, hopes, and dreams for their year ahead, but you can do a vision board for a specific project, an event, or something else too.
You can keep in mind the moon phases when making your vision board if that feels relevant to you. The full moon is a great time to launch new hopes and dreams. The new moon is better for introspection, reflecting on what is important in your life, dreaming up new ideas, and intention setting. You can also take advantage of a waxing moon for creating increase, or a waning moon for releasing and letting go.
Moon energy can always add some extra zing to your work. So if working with the moon speaks to you, simply consider the energy you wish to bring into your vision board creation experience and plan accordingly.
In short, there is no right time. It’s completely up to you. Do whatever feels good.
Let’s get started! Gather your supplies (and friends).
All you need is poster board, scissors, glue sticks and a stack of interesting magazines with good photos. Markers and paint are also welcome additions for adding designs or word art. And of course, for those who love the sparkle, glitter can be fabulous (but it’s also messy, so beware)!
Last but not least, for an extra mojo boost, consider inviting a few like-minded friends to participate. While you play together, your subconscious mind will happily soak in all the good feelings and create positive subconscious associations connecting your vision board party experience (friends, food, fun) with the images and ideas on your board that you wish to manifest.
So go ahead and invite a couple of friends that you enjoy spending time with. But whatever you do, have fun!
Want more practical tips for manifesting? The Art of Creation & Manifesting shares detailed steps on mental preparation, recognizing cosmic queues leading you toward your good, and inspired action steps for maximum manifesting results.
Manifesting always sounds so simple when you listen to “the gurus” talk about it, and in concept it is. But it also takes work… and trust.
In this episode, we will look at nature’s cycles and the art of mothering to see what we can learn to help us birth and nurture our own projects and desires, so that we can successfully release them into the world.
The Art of Creation & Manifesting – The Mother’s Mantle
Read this article for concrete steps to help you get what you want. The article below is not a duplication of the episode content above. It is a deepening guide for enhancing your manifesting work, including specific practices to help you on your journey.
It’s that time of the year when we celebrate the return of new life, which means it’s time for planting seeds, both literal and figurative. So the question is…
What are you going to plant to enhance your life this season?
I know, you’ve heard this question a thousand times before and perhaps even tried programs to help you nail this manifesting ‘thang‘, but bear with me. We have to start somewhere, and this is as good a place as any.
So seriously, if there was something you wanted to change in your life, what would it be?
Perhaps you are thinking, “I would retire and be done with work,” or “I would get help to clean my house and help with my children.” Or maybe you would want to own a big company that is wildly successful!
While all of these are wonderful ideas, they all require planning, action and perhaps even providence to unfold. And yet, they are all external things.
That’s not bad. And I’m not saying that any of these situations couldn’t or won’t happen. They very well might! But the older and more experienced I get, the more I realize that it’s not usually the “thing” or situation that I am desiring, but rather the *feeling* or state of being that thing symbolizes.
For example, wanting a nanny might translate to wanting an opportunity to rest or play tennis or work. A big wildly successful business might point to a desire for prestige, respect or validation.
It’s very important to explore these questions thoroughly when beginning a manifesting process, and clarify the difference so that you can make decisions in alignment with your true desires. Are you truly wanting some thing or situation? Or is there something deeper?
When you can identify your true heart’s desires — not just the outward symbol of those desires — then you have a solid foothold to start creating what you want here and now. And it will only grow from there! You will be able to manifest what you truly desire more quickly and easily. You will be able to recognize and celebrate many small wins on the way to your larger goals, and you will be able to *feel the success* of your efforts, not just reach arbitrary goals that still leave you empty and yearning inside.
So, what is it that you truly desire?
Feel your way to the answer.
The more I follow a path of feeling as my guide, the more my life continues to unfold in ways that make me happy, content, comfortable and empowered. I try new things and find new confidence in old things. New doors open that previously were shut. That’s a pretty wonderful way of living!
So sticking with the “feeling” rule…
Can you identify the feeling that you are wanting to create in your life?
Is it comfy cozy or adventurous? Dramatic or mundane (a.k.a. simple and peaceful)?
If you’re not sure, go back to the initial questions of “What would your ideal life look like?” or “If you could change anything in your life, what would it be?”
What was your answer? A long vacation? A new car? Something else?
Now look at that situation or thing that you think you want, and ask yourself, “What about this is appealing or enticing to me?”
If you had that vacation or that car, what would it do for you? In other words, what is the opportunity or the benefit that you will receive by having whatever it is you think you want?
Make sure that you are not misinterpreting your desires.
In hypnosis, one of the first things you learn is that people usually don’t tell you what they really want because they don’t know. Rather, they tell you the thing they think they want because, somewhere underneath, their subconscious has linked that thing or scenario to a secondary gain.
For example, a client comes in and says they want to be able to run a marathon, but they don’t even like exercising. Why do they really want to run a marathon? Clearly, it’s not because of a love of competitive sports or running or exercising, or they would already be doing it in some shape or form, no matter how small. So running a marathon is not going to be a good goal for this person.
Instead, as a facilitator, if I ask enough questions, I may eventually find out that they just want to be liked by a special someone who admires runners. Surprise!
Obviously, this is not a good reason to try to become a marathon runner. And, by the way, if I did try to help them nurture that outward goal–even with a subconscious tool like hypnosis, it would most likely fail. Why? Because running is clearly not a love or a priority for them. Who knows? That level of exercise might actually be in conflict with their core values.
This is why this step is so important, and in my opinion, the hardest step in the manifesting process. You must be meticulous in exploring your desires and the underlying beliefs and values that prompt those outward desires. If you want to succeed in reaching your goal, you must identify your true desire that lines up with your essence and who you really are.
You can’t attempt to undermine your core values and expect a big manifesting win.
That is the quickest recipe in the book for self-sabotage!
But you can identify your true desires, which will be in alignment with your values and highest intentions for yourself, so that you can create better goals and plans for manifesting those desires into your life. And it will work, because they won’t be in conflict with your internal priorities.
That’s why clarifying these points, and the feeling you want to experience, is key to creating a life you really love.
Pursuing each new whim as it comes along takes just as much energy and effort as fulfilling your true underlying desires. The difference is that pursing superficial quests will lead you down a rabbit hole as you try to fill a need that you perhaps don’t fully understand. It will never end. While pursuing a “feeling” that matches your core values will create something strong and stable that lasts longer than the moment and can be built on in the future as well.
So, when deciding what it is you want to create, take some time and really explore your motives and hidden needs. Don’t just jump at the first idea that comes into your head.
There is no benefit in pursuing each new idea that pops into your head without truly being clear on what you hope to achieve or *feel* as a result of your success.
Why would you want to spend your energy and time manifesting something, only to realize once you have it, that your accomplishment didn’t fill the hole you thought it would — whatever that hole is for you.
Of course, you can pursue whatever you want whenever you want, on a whim or otherwise. It’s up to you! Do what works best to make you happy. Perhaps you love the chase! If so, then chase away! But if you want off the roller-coaster, spend some time exploring your inner landscape and what you truly desire before planting your seeds of intention.
Tip: Still unsure? A good intention might be, “I want to know what it is that I truly desire.”
Once you know what you truly desire, it’s time to plant that intention in the world.
To get started, you must create a sustainable environment to plant in.
In my garden, this would mean choosing a location with ample sun, good drainage to avoid root-rot and disease, and proper amendments to the soil. Then, once planted, I will also need to consistently tend my garden, make sure it gets ample water and keep it weeded so nothing is sucking up valuable resources that my plants need.
Without these steps, my garden will most likely fail. But if I plan wisely and take care throughout the growing season, I can expect an abundant harvest or a beautiful bloom.
Your life is no different!
You must prepare your time, your environment, and your responsibilities to create conditions that will allow your heart’s desires to take root and grow.
Like anything in life, creating something new, or manifesting something into your life, is typically not a free ride. It takes work and commitment.
In my experience, this often involves sacrifice of some kind.
If you are saving for a large purchase, you might need to eat out less or shop less. If you want to create some “me time”, you might need to say no to some projects that overextend you, no matter how much you want to help out. If you want more peace in your life, you may have to stop spending time with that friend who brings nothing but drama every time you see them.
Whatever you are trying to create, there is almost always a trade off that will need to take place in order for you to receive it.
Otherwise, you would already have it!
For me, I wanted to move out of the busy suburbs with the traffic and the noise, and into a place where I could grow a garden and have some peace. This meant a drastic change of lifestyle. I was going to be farther from the convenience of shopping and groceries. It would not be as easy for my friends to visit or me to visit them. And I was going to have to drive farther to everything I liked to do. Plus, I was going to be farther away from my son — not much, but enough that I wouldn’t see him as often. These were all sacrifices that I had to be willing to make, but the payoff was enough to make it worthwhile.
We wanted a more peaceful life with less traffic and pollution, and more nature and green space, so we prepared mentally and fiscally for this reality and welcomed the lifestyle changes necessary to create it.
Then we started building our new life into our current living situation wherever possible.
When manifesting something big in your life, start living your dream in small ways as soon as possible.
This helps to grow the energy of your creation and also keeps you engaged in the transition by providing small wins that you can see and feel along the way, letting you know that you are moving in the right direction.
In our case, we got into the energy of our new home by sitting down and making a list of location and house characteristics that were important to us. We then stayed in that energy by saving photos of things we liked, and constantly talking through new ideas to further hone the details of what we wanted, and also what would be a deal-breaker for us. (TIP: Pinterest is great for vision work and gathering ideas and energy!)
We also started incorporating more of the feeling we wanted into our current physical space as well.
For example, this may sound silly but… we bought a butter dish that I *love* and still love to this day!
Yes, that’s a tiny detail in the grand scope of things. But this little dish completely embodied the energy of our new home and the new simpler life that we were creating. The cost was ridiculous in my opinion, but when I found it, I knew it was exactly what I wanted. So even though I was watching our budget, I splurged, and it was worth every penny! Why? Not because it holds butter any better than any other dish, but because it makes me smile every time I look at it, which moved us one step closer to our new life.
Plus, being willing to spend that extra on a small thing that made me happy was in perfect alignment with the comfy, cozy life I was creating–a lifestyle that was rich in content and satisfaction.
You don’t have to wait for your dream to manifest to get the feeling you are wanting.
In fact, it’s not beneficial to live in waiting because that keeps you out of the flow. Rather, do whatever you can to bring the feeling of the new life you are creating into your current life. This will move you deeper and deeper into your new reality and potentially speed up your manifesting process.
For me, I had bird feeders and plants on my porch so that I could get my nature fix, and wind chimes and candles to enhance my magick. I also made a point to appreciate the children and families laughing outside at the pool and the playground, which brought me the feeling of a happy family. And it didn’t hurt that we had a poolside apartment, so sitting on the balcony every day felt like living at a resort. (That was another sacrifice I had to embrace… no more afternoon pool visits right at the foot of our stairs!)
Even though the geography wasn’t ideal, our apartment really was wonderful for the time it served us. We were very fortunate to have had that amazing, joyful space in the middle of the hustle and bustle of suburbia; and we were grateful!
Hold gratitude and appreciation throughout your manifesting journey, and celebrate wins along the way.
To keep your energy flowing in an uplifting and positive way, it is important to celebrate any and all small wins along your journey. This could be a simple acknowledgment to the Cosmic Mother (or to your angels or other helpers), such as, “Thank you! More, please!” Or it could be a celebration dinner or other treat to yourself or your loved ones for a task completed or a milestone reached.
It’s up to you how big or how small your celebrations are. What is important is that you stay in that flow of recognizing your good, which will keep you mentally and emotionally aligned with your intention and process.
Sometimes the wait can be long, but it’s worth it!
Over the next year we continued to prepare. We continued to grow our businesses and set aside money for our purchase and our move. We let go of things that didn’t match our vision, and also purchased new items that were in alignment with the energy we were creating.
This is what it means to nurture your creation even before it comes to full fruition.
Continue to prepare to receive your desire when it shows up. If the opportunity comes to you, and you are not prepared to receive it, all of your visioning is wasted. Eventually, that which you are wanting will present in your life, and based on your preparation and flexibility, you will either be able to receive it or you will accidentally turn it away. Always be ready at a moment’s notice to say “Yes!” to your heart’s desire and accept it with open arms when it arrives.
Stay mentally and emotionally engaged with whatever you are wanting to manifest. Think about it, talk about it, and imagine different possibilities related to what you are creating and how they would feel. This keeps your energy and mind focused on your goal. In science-talk, this keeps your Reticular Activating System always on the look out for stuff related to your desire. This constant awareness keeps your energy focused on what you are creating, which is good, and keeps your eyes and ears open for opportunities and solutions that move you closer to your desired goal.
Remove distractions that compete for resources, such as side projects that drain your time or your bank account and do not support your goal. You might even need to limit time spent with people that don’t support or fit in with the vision you are creating.
Make every decision with your creation in mind, always evaluating how each decision will affect what you are trying to manifest. Everything you do will either move you deeper into your vision and desire, or move you further away from it. Occasionally, there are things that just hang in the balance and do neither harm nor good, but most often, our decisions have a positive or negative gain in relation to our desired life.
To quickly determine if a decision will move you in the direction of your intention, assess the projected outcome of the decision against the *feeling* of what you are creating.
I am not saying that the action or decision you are weighing should be easy or feel good. Sometimes our best decisions are hard to make because they have a cost or a sacrifice tied to them. But if we know where we are going and are committed to the unfolding of our creation, we can find the strength to make those hard decisions and take the actions necessary, because we know that the result will ultimately step us deeper into the life we desire.
Almost always, important things require sacrifice and determination. Be prepared to face these challenges on your quest, and know that you can overcome them when you are committed to your highest good.
Again, this is why it’s so important to be clear on the feeling you are wanting. Without that touch point, you do not have a tool to measure your decisions and actions against, and you don’t have a strong internal emotional anchor to keep you on path if the going gets hard.
Whatever your goal, some level of challenge will undoubtedly occur along the way.
When this happens, I always think of it as the Universe testing me to see how committed I am. It is asking, “Are you sure you really want this? Are you willing to go the distance?”
But with the feeling that you are desiring firmly rooted as the base of your endeavor, you have what you need to stay on track. Plus, overcoming obstacles along the way always make the win that much sweeter in the end, because you value it more.
So celebrate every challenge as a learning opportunity, and simply do your best to keep making the next best decision possible, day after day, until your dream begins to reveal itself.
Now here is where the magic starts happening. Your desire is close! You can feel it.
Again, it’s all about “feeling”.
Perhaps you see or hear, which I do as well, but mostly, my guidance is just the gentle pull or push to do something, call someone, etc.
When you get that gentle tug, that’s when it’s time to take action!
The trick is that you have to be aware. You can’t go through your day at 100 miles per hour rushing from task to task, place to place, and expect to notice the nudge. It’s usually gentle, not loud, so you have to pay attention to your body. Notice when something feels different, or you just feel drawn to something, someone, or some idea or task.
If you’re not used to receiving guidance, here are a few things you can do that will help you learn to receive messages from your guides:
Set your intention to be more aware of your body during the day. A simple, but powerful sign of guidance is when a chill runs up or down your body. That was probably the first sign I ever received many years ago. You definitely feel it! The trick is to notice what is happening around you when it occurs. For me, it would usually happen when someone was saying something important that I should be paying attention to.
There may be other feelings you get in your body, as well, that are trying to guide you, like a queasy stomach, a sudden inexplicable fear or a sudden desire to leave wherever you are or stop whatever you are doing with no obvious reason why. Feelings that are seemingly not tied to anything currently happening around you are a great way to identify what might be guidance at work.
Pay attention to ideas that are seemingly random or out of the blue. That’s how I know an idea or thought probably isn’t my conscious mind — it’s something else — because it is seemingly unrelated to the moment and not something I would ever think of on my own.
If you get the feeling that *now* is the time to do something, do it! This often happens to me when there is no obvious rhyme or reason of why now would be the right time for whatever I am feeling compelled to do. Sometimes, it doesn’t even make sense! But if you get an idea or feeling that you should suddenly do something, just do it (unless it’s dangerous or harmful, of course, which would be an indicator that nudge is not from your guides)! Try it and pay attention to what unfolds. This is the only way to learn your own personal signs and signals of guidance.
For me, it’s always important that I follow the call of “now” when I get it. Timing does make a difference and getting that cosmic tool added to your toolbox can be a big boon for you in life.
Pay attention to your dreams. You can usually tell if your dreams are random subconscious stuff floating around from your day (like ties to conversations you had with people, or things you saw on TV), or whether they have some kind of omen or message in them. There are all kinds of ways that your dreams could be trying to tell you something important; and it’s usually pretty clear.
For example, you might dream about a detail or a conversation about something you’ve been dealing with, and a new clue or piece of information is revealed to you in your dream state.
For me, just this week, I woke up with the same random song in my head on several days. Eventually, I was able to figure out what the song was and who was the only person I could tie it to — someone from my past long ago that I hadn’t spoken to in years. I reached out to her and the timing was perfect. She was ready for something I have that will help her in her life right now! Ironically — or more accurately, not ironically — during this same time period, she also woke up dreaming about music that had ties back to me as well. (Did I mention that we haven’t spoken in many years? Guidance connected us through dreams!)
It may take time and some trial and error to figure out your mode of receiving spiritual information. Be patient and just experiment.
It’s kind of like learning how to communicate with someone who doesn’t speak your language. You have to come up with an agreed upon set of ideas or guidelines. The same applies when learning to recognize your own intuition, body wisdom, and higher guidance. If you are paying attention and participating, eventually guidance will find ways to communicate that work for you.
For me, my intuition often comes as a feeling in my body– not visceral, rather more of a knowing — and when I act on that nudge, things tend to happen.
In buying our new house, we had prepared for a little over a year when I suddenly had that internal prompt to reach back out to a loan officer, just to see if we were ready and could qualify for what we wanted.Something was nudging me to pick up the phone. I could feel it. So I followed the nudge and bwam! The stars aligned. It was time to get our house.
So start testing your intuition now. Eventually, you will learn to discern what is truly intuition and what is not. (How do you tell the difference? Intuition helps. Mental chatter doesn’t.)
If it doesn’t go well at first, that’s okay. It takes practice. Keep trying the different ideas above. Over time, you will start to recognize the feeling of the cosmic nudge more easily.
Every tool you have in your spiritual toolbox is an asset. When you have learned to trust those tools through experience over time, you have access to additional information that others may not sense.
Having this kind of access can be incredibly helpful when making decisions with unknown outcomes.
Our most recent home buying experience was no exception. Once I got “the nudge” and we started making phone calls again, things started unfolding so quickly and intensely it was hard to keep up.
The messages I was receiving from guidance seemed improbably, if not impossible. But we chose to be open to possibility, and we kept moving forward. Even as block after block seemed to challenge our path, guidance said, “Keep going.” So we did.
If we wanted the house, we had to let go of control and trust guidance in spite of some serious risks, financially and logistically, if things didn’t pan out. All we could do was our best, and let the chips fall where they would.
In the end, miracles happened, and we closed on our new home on time.
There was no way we could have known that all the obstacles and mistakes we faced would work out, sometimes even to our advantage. But we chose to trust in divine providence and all the signs we had received along the way affirming this place was meant for us, and in the end, almost every delay or required change benefited us.
We said “yes” when our desire presented, and followed through with faith and perseverance even when it was not easy. We chose to follow guidance down to the details, and we have never been happier!
This place was definitely brought to us through divine assistance. The path was hard and scary, but perfect. The Universe did for us what we could not have done for ourselves.
My point?
Trust the process.
There may be a time in your manifesting journey where things are scary and uncertain. The situation might even look perilous, like your project is going to slip away. But if you’ve been guided this far, now is the time to trust.
This doesn’t mean ‘recklessly jump into something’ expecting the Universe to save you. That’s not how it works. We all have to do our due diligence. Work the process. Leave no stone unturned. Plan. Prepare. Nurture.
There are no shortcuts. Keep doing the next right thing while you wait for your desire to show up in your life, and then when the time is right, receive.
But if things suddenly don’t look like they are going your way, all you can do is evaluate how the process has gone so far, and use that information to make your next best choice.
Have you already received divine assistance moving you forward? Does it feel right in spite of appearances? If so, keep going.
Who knows? You might be misinterpreting whatever perceived issue is unfolding.
What if we gave up because of all the obstacles that showed up when we were buying our new home? We would have missed out on the comfy, cozy, happy life that we have created in this beautiful place, and the crazy adventure that got us here (which we love telling stories about, by the way!).
It was a total saga, but we did our part, we never gave up, and in the end everything worked out beautifully! We couldn’t be happier.
But what if you haven’t really been receiving assistance on your path? Or all the evidence so seems to be working against you, instead of with you? Then what do you do? Keep pushing and try to force it?
Forcing is not manifesting! (But neither is sitting on your couch.)
Every January, I do a meditation to receive a new word that typically ends up unfolding over the course of the calendar year. One year, I received the image of a pinwheel like the children’s toys that you blow on to make them spin.
The meaning was so clear… “You don’t have to push!”
When you are in the flow, doing the work, and trusting the process, creation flows like a spinning pinwheel that is moved by the gentlest of breezes. Allow! Let go and let the Universe work for you.
Just don’t be confused into thinking you can sit on your couch meditating all day, and a check will magically manifest into your mailbox with no effort beyond your positive thinking. That is bunk!
Positive thinking and vision work have their place, but they are only half of the story.
I have seen so many people do manifesting classes and commit to mental discipline, positive thinking and envisioning what they want, but never make any real world decisions that back up all of that non-physical imagining with action and effort to make their dreams come true in physical reality.
What’s the old saying, “God helps those who help themselves?”
Whether you are a God fan or not, the intention of the saying still holds true. The role of the Universe is not to make things happen without us. Physical and non-physical work together, nature and spirit, hand-in-hand to make our reality. That means we have to do our part, not just sit around thinking about how our dream will be and expect it delivered on a silver platter.
All of your favorite manifesting gurus that you take classes from are not sitting around meditating all day and daydreaming about the enchanted lives they want to create. They are out there working and investing and planning and preparing. They are running businesses! That is how you found them on TV, or at that conference or speaking event, in the first place.
Don’t be confused into believe that manifesting is all mental/spiritual. It isn’t. That’s called wishful thinking.
But at the other end of the spectrum, pushing your agenda through and manipulating outcomes is also not the energy of co-creation and manifesting. You may be able to force what you think is supposed to happen next, but what is the cost? In my experience, things don’t go very well when I am acting like a bull in a china shop.
If you are having to bulldoze people, threaten or manipulate, I would do a little self-check, because that is not what being in the flow is about. The river should carry you along your path, whether quickly or slowly. You should be swimming with the current, not against it. You will know the difference. There will be signs if you are paying attention.
When we were purchasing our house, even in the hubbub of what looked like chaos and obstacles, there were signs that we were on the right track. There would be an issue, and then it would resolve itself just by us continuing on path and taking the next best steps we knew how to do.
So periodically, reassess to make sure you are still in the flow. If your dream is in alignment with your highest good, you will not need to do all the work yourself. The Universe will step in and support you.
Stay in the game and play your best, but remember you have a whole team behind you if you allow them to play! That is where the magick is.
But what happens if you do your part, and you leave room for the Universe to step in and assist, but it never shows up?
If you’ve done everything you can without forcing, and things still don’t work out as intended, perhaps you can trust that whatever you were aiming for was not the best fit for you, and there is something better.
I know, this is a jagged little pill to swallow, but bear with me.
When I was young, I met a man who I was sure I was going to marry. I was head-over-heels in love with this guy. It never occurred to me that he wasn’t “my guy”. But in the end, our choices took their toll, and he ended up marrying someone else. I had always thought we would each live a little and end up back together when we were ready to settle down; so naturally, I was devastated when I found out.
But in looking back, I can see that a marriage with him would not have gone well because we prefer very different lifestyles. He ended up with someone wonderful, who I adore, and who is a very good fit for him. And I also went on to find my best life partner as well.
If we had married, it’s possible we would have been doomed to a mediocre life that wasn’t what either of us really wanted. Luckily, we didn’t have to go through that.
The Universe helped us both out by separating us, even though I couldn’t see it at the time. Instead, what seemed like a heartbreaking failure ended up bringing both of us amazing people who are much better matches for each of us, and we are both happy! Life is good and I am so grateful.
Another great example of “failure” that ended up being a divine win is the story of how a friend of mine got her dream farm that she loves so much.
Some years ago, her and her husband had found a farm that they really wanted to buy. Emotionally, they were all in on this property. They had their hearts set on it. They even sold their house because they were sure the sale was going to go through. But they tried everything and just couldn’t work it out with the seller.
It seemed perfect but clearly it wasn’t, because if it was they would have been able to buy it.
Then after many months invested in trying to purchase that first property, one day, they accidentally drove by a different farm nearby that they had never seen before. It was everything they needed and wanted — even better than the first one — and no surprise, they had it under contract immediately!
When they found that first property, they had done the work. They were ready to receive, but happily they were blocked from buying the wrong property for them. As disappointed as they were, when they finally let go of their attachment to the outcome on the first property, their best property was revealed almost instantly.
Today, they are running their new farm, tending their horses and loving life!
When you can hold your vision and do the work, while also letting go of attachment to the outcome, that’s when you are in the flow.
This is where you want to be if you are trying to manifest something into your life.
This is the art of creation and manifesting:
Be meticulous in your vision work and identifying the feeling you are desiring in your life. For what reason is the thing you are wanting important to you? How will it benefit your life?
Prepare to receive that which you desire: financially, mentally and emotionally. Line yourself up with whatever needs to be in place to receive your good, and remove yourself from anything unhealthy that is blocking you from it. Perhaps there is some healing work that needs to be done in order to be ready to receive. Assess yourself and your life and make your environment conducive for receiving your desire. Get help if necessary.
Consistently tend your dream and give thanks every step of the way. Continue enhancing your ability to receive your good. Be prepared to make sacrifices when necessary, and act when you receive the nudge to do so. Be sure to notice synchronicities and celebrate wins along your journey, even the small ones. This will keep your energy and focus aligned with your intention.
Trust the process. Often things may not unfold the way you expect, but if you have been clear in your intention, and you have prepared and nurtured your desire, you will have strong magick behind you, pointing you in the right direction all along the way. Trust the process when faced with twists and turns. Just keep making your next best decision, and release attachment to outcomes as the process unfolds.
Receive. Say “Yes!” when your desire shows up in your life. You’ve earned it!
And lastly, remind yourself…
You are responsible for your part and nothing more. Always do your best and then allow the magick of the Universe to step in and assist. It’s messy and scary — simple but not easy — but the experience gained is always worth the effort.
